Let’s Book WrestleMania 31: The Ascension Get Their First ‘Mania Moment

THE ASCENSION vs. THE USOS

–WWE Tag Team Championship Match–

There’s a limited amount of teams in the WWE. We’re 10 weeks away from WrestleMania, there’s a maximum of 6 teams including the champs; if the Ascension haven’t entered the tag picture by then, we’re in for another month or two of squash matches. 

The problem is, you have to legitimize them.

You’ve got two options – they’re so good in the ring the fans love them, or they’re so powerful/dominating the fans hate them. Let’s shoot for door #2, for some obvious reasons. Let’s play this out. 

  1. After a month of destroying jobbers, The Ascension demand competition. 
  2. A tournament is announced to name #1 contenders to the tag titles, with the winner getting a guaranteed championship match at WrestleMania. 
  3. J&J Security screws something up, and as punishment Triple H puts them into the tournament… against The Ascension, in the first round. This is important. 
  4. To give NXT some exposure, Sin Cara & Kalisto are announced as a part of the tournament. For the sake of an easy number of applicants, again, this is important. 
  5. The tournament takes place over three weeks on Raw and Smackdown. The brackets are listed below.
  6. The Ascension defeat The Usos in the WrestleMania 31 pre-show to become the new WWE Tag Team Champions. 

With this simple tournament, we’ve murdered an entire flock of birds with one Dwayne Johnson. Something like that. 

J&J Security rounds out the 8 teams necessary, and gives The Ascension a team that’s slightly better than nameless jobbers (but not by much). A win over Cesaro and Tyson Kidd elevates them over established stars, and the Dust brothers offer them a pair of former champions as fodder.

The way these matches work out also effects at least one more match on my list, but we’ll get to that some day soon. 

If the tournament begins immediately after WWE Fast Lane, they’ll be ready for WrestleMania. Ready like Demolition at WrestleMania IV? No. Maybe like the Powers of Pain at WrestleMania V. But hey, this is the WWE tag division in 2015. Give them a year-long run with the belts and they’ll be the most over duo of the decade. 

Here’s the tournament run-down: 

First Round Matches

The Ascension def. J&J Security

Cesaro & Tyson Kidd def. Sin Cara & Kalisto

The Miz & Mizdow def. Los Matadores

Goldust & Stardust def. The New Day

Second Round Matches

Goldust & Stardust def. The Miz & Mizdow

The Ascension def. Cesaro & Tyson Kidd

Finals

The Ascension def. Goldust & Stardust

Part 2: The Intellectual Savior of the Masses Returns

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