Tonight, Mick Foley will change the face of wrestling forever.
Wait, didnâ<80><99>t he just do that when he made his first appearance with TNA?
Sigh.
How many times have we heard that from TNA, WWE, WCW, et all? Iâ<80><99>m all for the hype, but seriously. Do we need yet another earth-shattering announcement that will cause the world to spin off its axis and hurtle uncontrollably at the sun?
Wrestlingâ<80><99>s face has changed more than Joan Rivers and Cherâ<80><99>s mugs combined.
Just Googling â<80><9c>change the face of wrestling foreverâ<80> will show you that Wrestlemania changed the face of wrestling forever (that may be true). TNA Victory Road â<80><99>04 was an â<80><9c>epic event that will forever change the face of professional wrestling.â<80> The Legends of Wrestling video game â<80><9c>changed the face or wrestling video games forever.â<80> Back in March of 2007, Pride Fighting out of Japan announced a press conference to make an announcement that would change the face of wrestling forever. Fred Kreuger, Violent Jack and El Jefe changed the face of the Vegas Wrestling Federation wrestling forever. Even frivolous lawsuits from disgruntled â<80><9c>used-to-beâ<80> wrestlers is supposed to change the face of wrestling forever.
Wasnâ<80><99>t WCWâ<80><99>s New Blood vs. the Millionaireâ<80><99>s Club â<80><9c>New Eraâ<80> angle supposed to change the face of wrestling forever? Well, it didnâ<80><99>t. Just gave it a nasty case of acne and a few boils.
For the love of God and Shawn Michaels, can we please STOP CHANGING THE FACE OF WRESTLING FOREVER!
There is simply no way to live up to that pronouncement. And even if you come close, it will not sustain and wrestlingâ<80><99>s alleged â<80><9c>new faceâ<80> will bubble like Darkmanâ<80><99>s visage after 99 minutes. It will go back to what it was. The face of wrestlingâ<80>¦whatever that is.
If Mick Foley pulls off the skin on his face that reveals that he is an alien, he will change the face of wrestling forever. If Vince McMahon came out and announced, â<80><9c>You know, I am completely full of sh*t,â<80> that would change the face of wrestling forever. If the champions from all federations met in the ring and began to furiously masturbate, THAT would change the face of wrestling forever. Well, at the very least, it would require a change in the mat that covers the ring.
If not a permanent ban, may I suggest a ten-year moratorium on announcements that change the face of wrestling forever? You simply cannot live up to them. No way. No how. I would appreciate it if a wrestling promotion announced the following:
â<80><9c>Tonight, on (name the show), we will make an announcement that probably will be real cool, but wonâ<80><99>t change the face of wrestling forever. So, donâ<80><99>t get your hopes up. You know, in thinking about it, maybe itâ<80><99>s not such a good idea after all. Forget I said anything. Oh, why do I do this to myself? Get everyoneâ<80><99>s hopes up, only to dash them. Itâ<80><99>s just like me to do things like this. I do it all the time. No wonder I lost all my friends on my MySpace. Crap. Iâ<80><99>m such a loser. I hate my father. WHY ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE STARING AT ME?â<80>
