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OK, wrestling fans. Hereâ<80><99>s the deal.
Sean Oâ<80><99>Mac, like any wrestling fan, loves the exciting high points of any show. We all know that a show canâ<80><99>t be jam packed with excitement usually and we can usually expect what would be looked at as low points.
But I canâ<80><99>t stand segments that are so bad it becomes a waste of my time to even watch.
Before I sink my teeth into that, let me start by saying I do like Big Show. However, tonightâ<80><99>s bit with Brandon â<80><9c>The Thrillâ<80> Hill motivated me to – well, use the bathroom. (Before you say anything, I didnâ<80><99>t actually go. I stuck it out.)
First, since when do fighters wear 12-ounce boxing gloves to an MMA match? Couple that with the fact that Big Show was wearing none, and this begins teetering on the edge of that precipice called stupidity. Then the guy panics and runs for the ropes every time Show advances, to the point that the ref warned him he was going to call the match if he didnâ<80><99>t fight. Of course, Show finally got a hold of Hill and destroyed the guy, continuing to do so as Floyd Mayweather watched and mouthed off live via satellite.
Show, thereâ<80><99>s someone else you should be chokeslamming besides â<80><9c>The Thrill.â<80> Whoever is responsible for writing this storyline so far. I can see the value in pitting a huge wrestler against an elite boxer, believe it or not. But the way this is being done right now makes me wish Mayweather were sitting next to me and could knock my arse out.
Letâ<80><99>s move on from the bad to, well, more bad.
Hornswoggle, I was not a fan of this whole â<80><9c>Vince is my daddyâ<80> storyline when it started, but youâ<80><99>ve managed to get some laughs out of me and generally win me over – until tonight that is. Youâ<80><99>re small and supposedly injured. JBL is huge even by standards of common men. Fear is a natural reaction if that man is standing over your hospital bed threatening to do you harm. But the whole pathetic sobbing and crying bit? Please.
While I am on a roll for slamming this weekâ<80><99>s episode of Raw, I do have some good points to look at. After all, there was a truly hilarious moment that got me laughing out loud. And the great part is the rumor mill is already brewing that it may lead to the most exciting WM24 match slated yet!
Carlito vs. the entire 80s hit band, Flock of Seagulls.
Ok, I know it was a commercial and all, but the whole thing with Carlito beating off seagulls as they attacked him was far and away the funniest moment of this night.
Now donâ<80><99>t get me wrong, Santino is still managing to get smiles out of me. Tonight he attempted to ruin Mariaâ<80><99>s Playboy cover unveiling by planting pictures of his mug all over vital parts of her photo. He showed a truly chauvinistic side (well, more than usual) and went too far when he tried to physically remove Maria from the ring after her repeated refusals. That got him a knuckle sandwich from Jerry Lawler, much to the crowdâ<80><99>s approval.
The twist of the night came during the return of Chris Jerichoâ<80><99>s â<80><9c>Highlight Reel,â<80> something Iâ<80><99>m definitely glad to see back. All of you know how I feel about Chrisâ<80><99> mic skills, so any opportunity for him to use them is great in my book.
But the twist, pun intended, came when Jericho told his guest Jeff Hardy that they werenâ<80><99>t friends any more, basically, and that Hardy was a target until WM and â<80><9c>anything goes.â<80> Hardy agreed, and the two went to shake hands. Hardy then did what any heel would normally do, dishing out a kick to the midsection and a Twist of Fate to Jericho. Hardy heard â<80><9c>boosâ<80> from the crowd for the act, not something heâ<80><99>s used to in recent times.
The look on his face as he backed up the ramp suggested even more. Did this one act signify something larger? Have the writers decided to take the man who is more â<80><9c>overâ<80> with the crowds now than just about anyone and have him make a surprise heel turn?
Well, WWE, that would be a huge mistake and I hope Iâ<80><99>m reading too much into a â<80><9c>single act.â<80> If anyone should have made a heel turn here, itâ<80><99>s Y2J. But Iâ<80><99>ll save my whole speech on Jericho for the next edition of Pullinâ<80><99> No Punches. Jericho fans will surely want to see that one.
WM opponents had plenty of fun in tonightâ<80><99>s episode. Starting the show tonight, GM William Regal announced that each of the three triple-threat participants for the WWE Championship would get a chance to run the show leading up to WM. Tonight, it was Cenaâ<80><99>s turn. He didnâ<80><99>t take long to make the obvious move, pitting Triple H and Randy Orton against each other in the main event.
The man didnâ<80><99>t rest on his laurels, however. Cena had retribution in mind and wanted a piece of Mr. Kennedy. The two put on a pretty good match overall, and in fact I think Kennedy looked better tonight than he has been recently. Cena picked up the win, of course, with the STFU.
Orton and Trips didnâ<80><99>t do a bad job in their match either, but for the second week in a row it was the champ, Orton, who was standing over the rest. It looked as though a frustrated Orton was going to take his title and go home before the match was done, and â<80><9c>GMâ<80> Cena went to put a stop to that idea. Trips nailed Orton into Cena, however, and soon Cena recovered and dealt an FU to The Game, ending the match in a DQ. Orton then RKOed Cena.
One thing is certain, Orton is being played up even more these past two episodes which leads me to believe one thing right now. No way is he leaving WM with the belt.
Another set of WM opponents had a different kind of fun as Ric Flair and HBK took on Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. It really didnâ<80><99>t take long for Flair to pick up the win with a Figure Four, and afterwards I was half expecting Shawn to be Shawn and knock his partner silly with Sweet Chin Music. Instead, Shawn told Ric heâ<80><99>d reconsidered and didnâ<80><99>t want the match at WM. He did note, however, that if Flair still pushed for the match, Shawn was â<80><9c>The Showstopperâ<80> and would stop Flairâ<80><99>s show at the event.
The plot thickens.
Cody Rhodes and Carlito put on a good match tonight in a Money in the Bank qualifier. Rhodes is still continuing his upward curve in Sean Oâ<80><99>Macâ<80><99>s eyes, looking better and better with each match. I was actually disappointed that he didnâ<80><99>t win the thing. Iâ<80><99>d almost like to have seen him in the ladder match, but certainly canâ<80><99>t sell Carlito short after that match he and Hardy put on a few months ago.
And, oh, by the way. Oomainga, a.k.a. Umaga, squashed the living hell out of Super Crazy.
Next weekâ<80><99>s episode will be three hours full of action as we see rematches from past WrestleManias. Should be some fun to watch, and about 33 percent more writing for yours truly!
Don’t like my take? Let’s hear yours! Send me your e-mails to wzseanomac@yahoo.com… the best and worst of the bunch may be featured in editions of Sean Oâ<80><99>Macâ<80><99>s Pullinâ<80><99> No Punches. Remember, short ones are good, long ones may be cut, and keep the name of the column in mind when you come looking for answers!
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