Rey: “Hey, you got me Eddie… you got me…”
Producer: “CUT! Rey, you’re supposed to look up when you say the line. Ya know, as if you’re talking to Eddie up in the heavens.”
Producer: “Take 5… ACTION!”
Rey: “Eddie… you got me man… you got me…”
Producer: “CUT! I’m not feeling the sincerity here Rey. I’m really not. This isn’t good enough!”
Producer: “You’re not doing it right… and just for that, we’re taking away your Rumble victory. That’s right, no Wrestlemania title shot for you, midget!”
Hello everybody, and welcome to another edition of Reading Between The Ropes. Many people celebrated with joy when Rey Mysterio won the Royal Rumble match. I was one of those people. Whether it be through a love of the underdog, a love for Rey Mysterio’s ability, a desire to see someone different get a chance at the glory, or a mixture of all three, Mysterio’s Rumble win was an extremely popular decision. However, like paying penance, or some evil form of wrestling equilibrium in Titan, Mysterio’s win comes with a whole lot of baggage. A few asterisks, if you will.
The name of Eddie Guerrero is being banded around on WWE television far too often, as if the WWE have waited patiently for a certain amount of time to pass before they feel they have escaped any notion of values, respect and sincerity when it comes to Guerrero’s legacy and his untimely death. Randy Orton’s remarks on Smackdown! that Eddie is in Hell and belongs there were nothing short of disgusting. However, it’s sadly not the only case of blatant disregard for a very sensitive situation. I cannot even begin to imagine who Vicky Guerrero and the rest of the Guerrero family are feeling right now.
The mere thought of Nickelodeon writers or Hollywood writer-wannabes (who had enough verbal lashings to last a lifetime in the last RBTR) writing Eddie’s name in to the scripts of dialogue and trying to think of ways how to use Eddie as if he were still a character on TV, still living and breathing like we all wish he were – it makes me sick. The phony sincerity that this craze of dedicating matches to Eddie is beginning to well and truly STINK. I believe Rey has now dedicated 5 matches to Eddie. God knows how many more he’ll be made to dedicate to Eddie in the months ahead.
Let’s make things clear; I have no problem with matches being dedicated to a man’s memory, so long as it’s sincere, from the heart and a genuine attempt to honour the man. However, when a wrestler is being TOLD to dedicate matches to a man’s memory for storyline purposes because “the script says so”, it has the opposite effect to what a match dedicated to someone should be. Rather than bring honour and pride towards the match and the situation, it brings dishonesty and shame. You only have to imagine the scene depicted at the start of this column to being to realise just where I’m coming from. The contrived nature of having everything planned out negates any sense of dignity in having matches dedicated to Eddie. If someone, spur of the moment, in an emotional epiphany, or some nostalgic flashback, decides to dedicate a match to Eddie… fine! I they point to the ceiling while celebrating, or performing one of Eddie’s old moves…great! But when you have a director, a man with a script and a producer calling shots, TELLING you to say this and that about a late friend, trying to force-feed your emotions… it’s sickening.
You begin to wonder just what type of stunt the WWE will pull next. As a friend of mine pointed out, you worry that they’ll play Eddie’s music to distract Orton during a promo/match and claim it was “Eddie”. Seriously, I actually think that will happen. I sure hope any WWE writers aren’t reading this (you know they aren’t) because it’ll probably give them the idea, if they haven’t already had the brain-storm to do it. In their warped minds things like this make sense, and to them, believe it or not, they are actually logical. HHH vs. Eddie’s Ghost at Wrestlemania, anyone? The wheels have certainly been set in motion.
If you’re going to give Mysterio the nod in the Rumble then it should be on merit and merit alone, not through some explanation of divine intervention, as if without the help of Eddie this could never have been possible. The funny thing is, if Rey had just simply been given the win without this scripted dedication bullshit, he may well have ended up dedicated his Wrestlemania main event to Eddie. A further problem with dedicating matches to someone’s memory is when you dedicate a win to them. Wrestling is scripted and the outcome is predetermined, and that doesn’t sit right with me. As I have said, go ahead and dedicate a match to someone providing your not being told to do so through scripts, but dedicating wins to someone is also very shaky ground because, once again, you’re relying on bookers, writers and backstage decisions. There should be something spontaneous and magical about dedicating a victory or a match to someone. Nothing about it should be predetermined, planned out or scripted.
Ironically, it looks like like Rey may not even get the Wrestlemania title shot anyway. This also stinks. What claim does Orton have to that title shot? None. There was no controversy. No dubious decision. Nothing. This only cheapens the Rumble match further, as did having it half wya through the PPV and not main event. If Rey loses this title shot, which I’m certain he will, and the WWE continues to cheapen and devalue the Rumble match, then they risk having the Royal Rumble fall by the wayside and go the route of the King of the Ring PPV, or the classic Survivor Series matches.
Reading the news sites this week hasn’t helped curb my anger towards the way Guerrero’s name is being dragged through the dirty, sewage-stenched canals that are the WWE writer’s thought processes. HHH continues to mock Eddie during his matches to gain cheap heat, and the aforementioned comment from Orton just goes to show that the WWE will sink lower and lower again for cheap exploitation of Guerrero’s death. And that’s what this is. Exploitation. News sites all week have been reporting that this use of Eddie’s name will continue to be used to generate heat. Why? Because it’s a cheap tactic and you guys can’t think of something better to come up with to give your heels heat? Yep, go on exploiting Eddie’s death because in the end people will realise how pathetic this insincerity is.
I’d like to close this column out with a link to something which sums up exactly how insincere, pathetic, and already done to death this entire situation has become.
“As well as the match, Rey also dedicated this item to the memory of Eddie.”
IT’S A f***ING CHAIR!!!
Also note the blue font, so it stands out, and so we don’t miss the point. You know what, it’ almost like it’s becoming an on-going joke now. That entire message underneath that auction item is spoof-like. I laugh at it, but then I have to remind myself that this is not funny, and nor should it be. But that’s the sad reality of this all… it has become a joke.
Back in November I dedicated an edition of RBTR to Eddie Guerrero and I did so from the heart, not become some schmuck had scripted it and directed me to do so. The WWE continues to cheapen and disrespect their association with Eddie Guerrero through countless insincere dedications – dedications that have become like a craze, or a new fad or trend. Dedicating matches to Eddie Guerrero has become in vogue, and what makes all of these insincere tributes even worse is that they merely water down the true and heartfelt tributes to Eddie, forcing them to get lost in the crowd. One’s that actually are designed to pay tribute to the legend that he was, and not for some cheap heat or ratings boost. And so, I dedicate this column to the writers of the WWE and Vince Mcmahon… and I do so with the same sincerity that you guys have shown towards Mr. Eduardo Guerrero.
Until next time,