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New Day Falls, Happy Beat Up John Cena Day, The Fourth of July and More on This Week’s WWE Raw Review…In About 4 Minutes

The 06/20/16 edition of WWE Monday Night Raw reviewed in about 4 minutes – including the BIGGEST FOOD FIGHT IN THE WORLD!, a fantastic AJ Styles/John Cena segment, Seth Rollins taking on Dolph Ziggler in a great match, Team USA vs Team Not USA and more…

INDEPENDENCE DAY: INDIGESTION

America! Terry Funk, yeah.

Raw opened on a 4th July dinner comedy skit with most of the main roster, and as soon as The Miz turned up in a pristine white suit, you knew what was coming. Food fight! Which was bizarre for a few reasons: 1) It was actually really funny, 2) Titus O’Neil just stood in the background hitting people with his giant sausage, and 3) it ended with Kevin Owens being hit in the face by a mystery pie thrower.

There was never any payoff to this, so it’ll have to go down as one of WWE’s many great unsolved mysteries/ideas Vince McMahon didn’t bother to resolve.

After Lillian Garcia remembered all the words to the American national anthem, the in-ring action kicked off with Rusev vs Titus O’Neil for the United States Championship. Can O’Neil overcome the Bulgarian Brute on America’s birthday? Will we see a feelgood victory by Titus winning his first singles title of his six year run in the company?

Nope. He tapped to Rusev.

DEAN AMBROSE BEAT THE MIZ

What was really nice about this holiday edition of Raw was that matches were made without much consideration for current storylines. As a result, the booking felt really fresh (unless you watchSmackdown).

The standard copy and paste template of ‘this guy is talking about how he’s angry with another guy, so that guy comes out, and then Shane McMahon makes a match between them’ wasn’t in place. In fact, we got a lovely break from having a general manager at all.

HAPPY ‘BEAT UP JOHN CENA’ DAY!

John Cena roused the Ohio crowd and then told them how disappointed he is in AJ Styles. What came next was my favourite part of Raw outside of an Enzo and Cass’ sandwich advert: how The Club are going to beat up John Cena all the time.

‘What are you going to do next weekend, Luke?’ AJ asked Gallows.

‘Ah, I was gonna get something to eat, then I was gonna…beat up John Cena!’

‘What are you going to do for Christmas Karl?’

‘I’m going to wrap up some presents for my kids with my hot Asian wife…then I’m gonna beat up John Cena!’

The Club were so entertaining here, and actually…that reminds me – I’ve got to set a reminder on my phone for for my girlfriend’s birthday on the 23rd July. I’ve gotta get her a present…AND BEAT UP JOHN CENA!

I won’t actually beat up John Cena. He looks really strong.

The Club started to beat up John Cena for Enzo and Cass to run down for the save. Battleground will see The Club take on Cena, Enzo and Cass. The push continues. Here’s the other stuff that happened!

BIG CASS & ENZO AMORE BEAT SOCIAL OUTCASTS

Enzo and Cass weren’t just saving John Cena and selling sandwiches, they also brought the Star Spangled Banter to the Social Outcasts, beating them in a quick match.

SETH ROLLINS BEAT DOLPH ZIGGLER

Rollins beat Ziggler in a great match, with a lot of mat-based early offence. Seth and Ambrose scuffled at the end, with Dean giving him a Dirty Deeds on the Spanish announcers table – which didn’t break.

CHARLOTTE/SASHA BANKS PROMO

I’m really enjoying Charlotte’s promo work. She’s more comfortable in front of the crowd every week. Sasha had a few badass lines, and stood tall at the end.

EXCUSE ME, VICKY GUERRERO

Vicky Guerrero was the latest past GM to campaign for Smackdown Live. I’ve missed her voice. Hopefully Mick Foley’s next.

THE GOLDEN TRUTH VS THE VAUDEVILLIANS

The Golden Truth picked up another win, and The Vaudevillians picked up another loss. They even lost the food fight.

BECKY LYNCH BEAT SUMMER RAE

This match was supposed to happen last week, but Lynch decided to beat up Natalya back then instead.

To see what Oli thought of the Wyatt Family/New Day angle, the Team USA vs Team Not USA main event, and this episode of Raw as a whole, watch the video above!

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