WWE star Goldust recently released a tell-all book called "Cross Rhodes: Goldust, Out of the Darkness." Below is an excerpt from the book which reveals his severe drug addiction during his 2 runs with TNA Wrestling:
"Eventually, and thanks to my dad, I started working for Total Nonstop Action for $1,000 a show. He was the boss, right under Dixie Carter. TNA wasn’t doing too well at that point, but I had a job making okay money. I could drive home just about every night. All I was doing was what little I had to do in the ring, then hanging out spending my money on coke, pills, and booze.
"I started making excuses for why I couldn’t hang with Dakota. Subconsciously I probably knew I didn’t want her around me or my girlfriend because the environment was so toxic. Despite the chaos, I showed up every night for work. I have no idea how I was able to stay on point with work at that time. One of my cardinal rules was never to drink before I worked a match. I wouldn’t consider doing coke before a match either. I’d take painkillers, fine. I had been taking painkillers for so long that I had convinced myself I really need them. I was taking medicine because I worked in a tough business. That was the story I had cemented into my mind. But drugs have a way of altering everything, including the stories you tell yourself. Eventually, I started doing a little coke before matches while retaining my vow to never drink alcohol before I go into the ring, as if that was something to be proud of."
"Every morning, as soon as I pulled myself out of bed, I’d take three Vicodins or Lortabs just to get moving. I was sore and pretty banged up physically, but over time pain pills exaggerated rather than eliminated whatever pain I was feeling. It was a slow process for me to get into the day. I’d get that first rush from pills and then I’d get moving. I might do something around the house, or jump into my truck and drive to the river to work on this book."
"I was probably taking close to forty pills a day at the end. I was so desperate that I actually bought pain pills from drug dealers because I would run out long before I could find another doctor to write a prescription. If I dropped a pill and it fell into the carpet, I would spend hours down on my hands and knees trying to find it. At the same time I was drinking so much that I’d wake up dizzy and unable to walk.
"Finally, after a three-day binge, I’d had enough. It was raining, I pulled myself up and walked right out the door. The rain was pouring down and I stumbled up a hill near this house where I knew I could get cell-phone reception. Somehow, I managed to call my dad. It was four thirty in the morning. I was falling down the hill in the mud. Ta-rel (his girlfriend) was trying to hold me up. I was scared half to death. I managed to get into the house, soaking wet.
"I had found the bottom."
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