Start of the Show:
J.R and the King welcome us live to Raw as a plethora of security guards come down the aisel and line up in it. What are they there for? Edge’s music hits and he comes out holding the hand of Lita which causes a HUGE chorus of boos from the Green Bay crowd. Lita gets on the mic and tells the people to go ahead and pass judgement. She says women do it all the time, use their husbands, can you blame her? She talks about the stalking, the sex, and the boiler room, and the marriage. Kane owes her, so she used him, big deal. He used her to take care of Trish among other things. He was wrapped around her finger. The crowd calls her a slut and she says just because she gets action, don’t be jealous of her. She then looks into the camera and says she never loved Kane and could never love a big freak like him.
She says she fell in love with a real man. She then smooches Edge as the crowd chants a tiny bit for Matt. She says no man she has ever been with could have satisfied her, except one, the next world heavyweight champion; Edge. Edge gets on the mic and says this feels really good. He says you can call her a slut, but she’s my slut. He says they are all jealous. There are obvious hints here of Matt Hardy, just replace Kane’s name with Matt, pretty risky stuff here by the WWE. He says he is on top of the world. He has the girl and tonight he gets the world title. He talks about his win at Mania and his gold Rush Tournament victory and tonight he will go through Batista. The crowd boos the crap out of him as he kisses Lita again. The crowd chants “bullshit” when he says he will become the champion tonight. J.R calls them two pathetic human beings, maybe he is serious?
The camera pans to the back where Kane is moving back and forth sitting down with eyes of fire.
Bischoff in the back:
Eric Bischoff is in the back talking to a setup guy and he talks about setting up a funeral for ECW tonight. Benjamin shows up and Bischoff tells him he has a match right now. Shelton says his partner is not here. Bischoff says it’s not his problem and he has a lot on his mind, like the draft. Did you see Cena last night? We have to get him over here! He then says it’s a handicapped match. Benjamin says it’d be great to get Cena on Raw, the only thing better would be if Eric went to Smackdown.
Referee: Jack Doan
Hassan and Daivari head to the ring as we just found out this will be a handi-capped match because Chris Jericho is nowhere to be found!
Mid match notes:
Shelton drops Daivari with a back body drop/suplex kind of move but Hassan trips him from outside the ring and then he drops him jaw first on the security rail with a wheel barrow. Hassan gives Shelton a reverse chin lock as the crowd gets behind Shelton. Hassan drops him with a snap suplex and tags in Daivari. Daivari comes in but Shelton drops him with a slingshot suplex off the ropes and then to the mat. Daivari gets up and Shelton clocks him around. He drops Daivari with a high back body drop, Hassan hits the ring but Shelton clotheslines him over the top rope. Shelton throws Daivari off the ropes and he gives him a huge flapjack before hitting him with a running knee to the jaw sending him flying out of the ring. Hassan gets involved but Benjamin knocked him down in the corner. Hassan backs up and begs.
Daivari grabs a chair and heads into the ring with it. Doan grabs it from his hands and Shelton is about to T-Bone Daivari but Hassan clubs his back and drops him with the facebuster. Hassan rolls out of the ring and Daivari covers Shelton to get the win.
Winners: Hassan and Daivari
Jericho arrives and Todd says hello to him. Jericho says he has to go and do a match but Todd tells him it’s over already. Todd explains what happened out there and Jericho says he’s just been busy as of late and everything. He says Shelton is a good competitor and one loss won’t hurt him. He says to tell Bischoff he will face anyone tonight because he equals ratings. Todd asks if he feels guilty, Jericho says to spare him the lecture and that he is sorry.
Money in the bank, for Christian?
Christian is shown with Tyson Tomko and he is looking at the Smackdown Roster saying that show needs him. John Cena? What a poser! Rey Mysterio and Booker T? Tomko says “Who is Mark Jindrak?” Christian says “I don’t know but I’d beat him.” Classic stuff. Edge shows up and tells the guards to watch the doors. He then says he saw what Batista did to Christian and Tomko last week, so they might want a little revenge. Christian asks what is in it for them and Edge says if he wins tonight, and a certain someone helps him, he won’t need the briefcase anymore and that someone who helps him might be able to have it. Christian says he gets the drift and they will meet up later.
Referee: Mike Chioda
Highlights are shown of what happened to Steven Richards awhile back when Masters broke his nose and orbital bone. Richards got some redemption last week and the two will meet tonight!
Masters slams Richards in the corner and then he gives him shoulder charges. He whips Richards off the ropes and then gives him the multiple backbreakers. He then picks Richards up with a long suplex before dropping him. Masters calls for the double sledge but Richards kicks him right in the face. Richards goes rights and lefts and crowd pops huge!
Mid match notes/The finish:
Richards is all over Masters but Masters nails him with a clubbing blow to the knee. Richards drops and holds his knee. Masters lurks above him eventually placing him in the master lock. Richards goes out.
Winner: Chris Masters
Eric Bischoff is in the back with Todd. Eric says Jericho will have a match up next. He also knows that Kane is in the building. Todd asks if he wants security to bring Kane to the office. Eric says he has a better idea; Todd will interview Kane!
They do some Diva Search stuff to the new Audioslave Song “Be Yourself.” The CD drops tomorrow and you bet Bill Watson is getting it!
Referee: Earl Hebner
Grenier goes downstairs early on Jericho sending him out of the ring. Grenier jumps on him outside the ring before tossing him back in the ring and kicking him all over the ring. Jericho gets an elbow up followed by chops, he slides under Grenier and he goes for the walls but Grenier gets him with an inside cradle for two. Grenier knocks Jericho down after the near fall.
Mid Match Notes:
Grenier puts Jericho in a torture rack but Jericho fights out, Jericho sunset flips Grenier and gets a two count. He gets back to his feet and chops before knocking Grenier down with several blows. He walks on the back of Grenier before hitting him with a running enzeguiri. Jericho goes for his running knee but Grenier moves. Jericho thumbs his eye and hits a double axe handle frop the top rope. Jericho goes for the lion sault but Grenier gets his knees up. Grenier plants him and nearly gets a 3 count. Grenier gets on the apron but Jericho nails him with a sprongboard dropkick.
Grenier lands on the apron. Jericho pulls him back in and pulls him in the Walls of Jericho! Grenier yells in pain and has no choice but to tap.
Winner: Chris Jericho
Shelton Benjamin shows up but Jericho leaves the ring and grabs a mic before they can meet each other. He tells Shelton he is a great athlete and so is he but he’s so busy being a rock star, movie star, pop culture icon, and so many other things, so he will have to put up with Jericho being late. And he can afford all these things because he is Chris Jericho. Jericho walks up the ramp and says the Jericho-holics will always love him. Some of the crowd boos. Is Shelton finally getting over?
Eric Bischoff’s funeral for ECW
The ring is filled with carpet and a stand up with an ECW logo surounded by barbed wire. Bischoff welcomes us and says before he gives his eulogy he wants to talk about ECW. He talks about ECW starting in a bingo hall in south Philadelphia. Bischoff talks about stealing all of ECW’s stars when he ran WCW and in the end, ECW just died. The crowd calls him an asshole. He says he is shocked about seeing commercials for ECW’s pay per view on his show! He said he killed ECW once and this funeral signifies the fact that he is going to kill it again! He says he is on a crucade and the next few weeks he will put together a group of volunteers that will buy tickets and go to the show in New York and put an end to ECW once and for all. And NOBODY is going to stop him. Ashes to Ashes… dust to dust… Vinnie MAC!
Mr. McMahon makes his way to the ring with his famous walk that looks like he has a cucumber lodged in his ass cheeks! Bischoff says he’s glad Vince is here and he probably has a few words to say about ECW. McMahon says it’s actually the opposite. He says for a few years, behind the scenes, his organization funded ECW. He says he liked ECW and hoped the stars of ECW would one day become the superstars of the WWE. He names a few like Foley, The Dudley Boys, and Stone Cold Steve Austin, after being fired from WCW! He talks about what WCW did to ECW and how it was wrong. Vince McMahon says if you look at the bankruptsy, you will see how the WWe loaned them some $500,000. Vince says he wants the ECW PPV to thrive. He says he put the commercials there! Vince McMahon then says the ECW rules match that was cancelled last week will actually go on tonight! The crowd pops and chants “ECW” half of which probably never saw the s**t when I was doing play by play for them back in 90’s! Posers! Vince McMahon then says he can recall one brand that IS totally dead, the WCW brand! And he says just for the record, since Eric Bischoff wants to take credit for killing ECW… he killed WCW! He says enough about him talking about it, he didn’t create it, but there is a man who did have a hell of a lot to do with it and he is here tonight!
Paul Heyman comes out to the old ECW theme! Heyman grabs a mic and Vince introduces them. For the first time ever, all of the big heads of the big three. Heyman says Vince can own it, but he still controls it! He says Bischoff is all wrong about ECW, it was about the lucha libre’s and the hardcore. He then says it was about the entire audience believing in their favorite wrestlers and such. He talks about RVD and before RVD was WWE, he was E…C…W. He talks about all the wrestlers that were in the ECW. He then invites Eric to experience ECW. The crowd chants again and again, like 30 times I think now. Vince says he wants to see a damn good fight and Eric Bischoff can bring men to the ECW pay per view! May the best man win. Heyman says it will be gang warfare and he will take it straight to the EXTREME! Bischoff sounds cocky and Heyman says Eric will start a fire that he cannot put out! Eric Bischoff will bring men to the ECW pay per view in hopes of burying ECW once and for all!
ECW Rules Match
Tajiri cracks Benoit with a kendo stick at the ramp and the bell rings. Benoit fights back and gets a hold of the stick but Tajiri gives him the mist! Tajiri goes under the ring and he pulls out a trash can lid or two. The crowd chants for tables as Tajiri tosses a ton of other junk in the ring. Benoit throws the stick at Tajiri and then chops him. Benoit sets the garbage can in the corner but Tajiri whips him into it back first after a reversal.
Mid Match Notes/The Finish:
Benoit ducks a trash can lid and hits two german suplexes. Tajiri wiggles his way out and grabs the kendo stick. Benoit ducks the blow and nails another german suplex. He places Tajiri in the crossface but Tajiri grabs the stick. He whacks Benoit in the side but Benoit catches the stick and shoves it in Tajiri’s mouth holding the crossface! Tajiri taps out!
Winner: Chris Benoit
Todd is with Kane:
Kane is shaking and says this pain hurts so much… He is shaking when he talks and looks very scary. He is almost crying as Todd looks on like a child. Then Kane does start crying. He says maybe he deserves this for all the things that he has done. He says he does not want this pain. He then screams and says GET IT OFF ME! He says he wants to give give pain. He then screams that again. He says he wants to be left alone. Leave me alone.. Todd looks at him and then removes himself from the room as Kane shakes and wiggles back and forth in his seat.
When we come back from commercial Kane is shown leaving the arena. He opens the door and walks out.
Maria talks with Viscera
Maria is in the ring and she welcomes Big Vis! The world’s largest love machine! No pop? Viscera rocks! Maria says she has an interior motive for bringing her out here tonight. Maria then calls Lilian into the ring. Based on what happened last week, Maria came up with a theory, Viscera likes Lilian. Viscera says she is right and he is feeling Lilian Garcia but he does not know if she feels the same way. He says she didn’t show last week at the hotel room. He says he has a surprise. Lights, music. Viscera. He says “Hot Doooooog.” Then tells Maria to get him a hotdog! Always gotta have a good meal baby. Maria gets him a hotdog and he says he has a hotdog for her too. He bites into it and says it’s really good. Viscera says it’s time to show her what she’s been missing. He says last week he sang and he was pretty damn good and this week he is going to dance. He’s eating and dancing at the same time. Lilian kind of gets into it and he starts to disrobe a little bit. He shakes his ass as he takes off his tie. He wraps Lilian with the tie and jokes with her a bit. He then takes off his belt and drops his pants and he is wearing red boxers the size of a parachute. The Coach’s music hits and he says the last thing Bischoff needs is a sexual harrassment law suit. He says Viscera must be having a good time in Green Bay where even he is considered thin. He calls him a joke and embarassment. The Coach then asks him to step. The Coach then goes to talk to Lilian but Viscera grabs him by the throat and chops his no chest! He then drops him with a samoan drop and then he practically sodomizes him in the middle of the ring by humping him! Classic stuff. Lilian raises his hand and he takes her into his arms and smooches her!
World Heavyweight Title Match
The two men stare down face to face before locking up. Batista backs Edge into a corner but Edge gives him a shot followed by forearms. Batista reverses a whip and takes Edge down with a shoulder block. He whips Edge to the buckle sending him down hard. Edge finds himself on the apron but Batista just clubs him sending him flying to the mat on the outside. Christian and Tyson Tomko come down the ramp as Lita checks on Edge as WWE take a commercial break.
Mid Match Notes:
When we come back Batista is giving Edge the 10 punch but Christian tosses him off the ropes with Tomko distracting. Edge gets on the advantage throwing Batista into the steel ring post through the turnbuckles. Edge slams Batista’s head off the steps before clubbing the back of the world champion several times. Edge rakes the eyes and then delivers a big boot sending Batista down. Edge covers and gets a two count.
Edge climbs the top rope but Batista clubs his mid section. Batista climbs up there and the two men battle and then Batista gives him a superplex from the second rope, Edge came off the top. Chad Patton starts his 10 count as both men are down. The two men slowly get to their feet at the same time. Back and forht blows ensue but Batista gets the upper hand before whipping Edge in the corner and nailing him with a clothesline. Edge makes a run but he and the referee collide. Batista hits a huge falling bodyslam. He goes for the Batista bomb but Tyson Tomko kicks him in the side of the head. All men beat on Batista but ric Flair comes to the ring! He meets the men with chops and he dances and prances but he gets nailed with a spear. This allows Batista to get back up though and he clotheslines Edge into the corner. He then gives a spinebuster to Tomko and Christian. He knocks them both out of the ring with a clothesline.
End of the Match:
After clearing the ring though Edge nails Batista with the spear. He makes the cover and the referee is ready to make the count. 1….2… kick out by Batista! Lita tosses Edge the briefcase and then she distracts the referee. Edge makes a run with the briefcase, Batista gives him a spinebuster though! Batista then drops Edge with the Batista bomb and he covers to retain his title!
Winner and STILL Heavyweight Champion: Batista
After the match Batista hugs Flair and the two men celebrate. Then all of the sudden HHH’s music hits and he walks at the top of the ramp with a sledgehammer! Flair is looking on and then all of the sudden he gives Batista a low blow! HHH comes to the ring and clocks Batista with the sledgehammer sending him flying out of the ring. Flair laughs as HHH jumps out of the ring and beats Batista about the face with hard rights. Batista is busted open as HHH slams his face off the steps several times. They go back into the ring and Batista tries to stand and fight but HHH clocks him again with the hammer to the face. Batista is down and Flair picks him up and holds him against the ropes. HHH grabs the mic and says “you want to fight me? Hell in a Cell.” Flair pushes Batista over but he crawls to HHH still trying. HHH picks him up and gives him a pedigree right on top of the world title. HHH and Flair leave the ring as Batista lays there bleeding looking at the lights.