JCW "Legends and Icons" online pay-per-view (Cave in Rock, Ill.)
Report by David Nordby and ProWrestling.net
On Psychopathiclive.com you can order this weekend's Juggalo events which apparently are their two wrestling shows, and some concerts. After you order you can go into a chat room and there were people in it confused about what the differences between central and eastern time were, so that’s when I decided that I wouldn't be sitting in there, not that I've ever been in a "chat room" anyway.
There was some confusion whether the show started at 10:15 or 12:00 midnight, but it didn't matter because it didn't start until 1:47(CST) so it was really late regardless. Unbelievable. It got pretty ridiculous waiting, in fact I was a little embarrassed I did wait that long. The concert with all the music guests went late. I would have to guess some of the wrestlers were a little mad, unless they knew that a wrestling show in the middle of the night was what they were signing up for.
When the show finally did start, it opened with Kevin Gill inside the cage, and he ran down the card, as if we didn't know it after waiting for 3 hours. He then introduced Mick Foley, and they talked about all the wrestlers there tonight. The stage and ring actually looked pretty good compared to other JCW clips I've seen. David Penzer walked out as the first match was about to take place.
Backstage, Bill Apter interviewed Tito Santana who said he couldn't wait for his cage match with Greg Valentine after all these years.
1. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine defeated Tito Santana in a cage match in 3:43. Foley asked if Penzer is a poor man's Jeremy Borash. The cage is pretty small, and the match started with the two exchanging punches. The ring's loud, but looked pretty good from the different camera angles. Valentine got busted open after Tito grated his head in the steel but then fought back. Tito worked on Valentine's leg, but Valentine pulled his legs out from under Tito and put his legs on the ropes as he pinned Santino abruptly. After the match, Tito snapped an award in half; I'm not quite sure what the award is.
They took the cage down as Foley and Gill talked, as they spoke about Foley's wrestling career, his books, and Foley told a story how it took him 13 hours to get to the show.
Bill Apter interviewed The Headbangers for about two seconds about being in the battle royal, as apparently they switched up the card. Between the long wait, and the long stall in taking down the cage, the show is off to a really slow start, but Foley is doing his best to save it by entertaining at ringside.
2. Zach Gowen won a 15-man battle royal in 28:44. They called it a battle royal, but it was royal rumble rules with intervals of about 1:45. The first two participants were Jim Duggan and Headbanger Mosh which was certainly a contrast in styles. The third participant was Ronnie Garvin in jeans followed by Headbanger Thrasher. The four paired up and battled in the corners. Carlito was out next drinking a beer, but looked like he was still in good shape. Ronnie Garvin was the first eliminated by Jim Duggan. Jimmy Snuka came out with bare foot, as Foley talked about his dive at MSG that Foley attended as a teenager.
Snuka moved very slow, as all the wrestlers stopped and stared at each other. They all started clapping for Snuka as the crowd joined in. Duggan snuck up from behind and eliminated Mosh. Tony Atlas came out looking about as good as his recent WWE run. Carlito and Snuka stood just locked up in the corner doing nothing for about a minute, as Vicera made his entrance as the wrestlers stood watching, which I guess is the norm so far. Vicera tipped Duggan over as Penzer counted down Rob Conway who looked ripped. Thrasher and Tony Atlas were also eliminated by Vicera.
Tony Atlas stopped by commentary and put over the competition in the battle royal and said he'd be back next year at the gathering. I don't know if I can say the same for myself. Zach Gowen came out and was attacked by Rob Conway on the outside. The slow action continued as Rob Conway and Gowen fought over Gowen's leg. Carlito then eliminated himself by jumping over the rope onto Conway. The leg and Carlito's elimination sure were a good series of booking. (Sarcasm) Doink the Clown came out who looked old, as they said he was the original Matt Osbourne. There was some irony to Doink coming out as the whole battle royal has been a bad joke.
Jimmy Snuka was eliminated and luckily didn't turn to dust. U-Gene came out and kissed Snuka's forehead on his way to the ring. Brutus Beefcake was the next participant as time flies with not much going on in the ring. Doink got on commentary after being eliminated and said all the Juggalo fans take freaks to a whole new level compared to what he did back in his day.
Just when I thought we'd seen all the interesting characters of wrestling's history Disco Inferno made his entrance. Rikishi came out, which means there was another change in the card since he was supposed to be in a tag team match. Rikishi and Vicera had a face off in the middle of the ring as Gowen, Disco, & Conway looked on. Rikishi gave a stink face to Disco, and then he, Conway, and Disco were all eliminated by Vicera. That left Gowen and Vicera as the final two participants.
Rikishi and Disco both stopped by commentary on their way back as well. I guess we should care about the final two participants as we listen to two guys who just got eliminated. Back in the ring, Gowen found a way to get Vicera out to get the upset win. The battle royal was disappointing because of how slow moving everyone was, including the guys who are in shape. I guess it is 2:30 in the morning so maybe they're all totally unmotivated. The crowd's been dead the first two matches. Apparently the wrestlers get an award-plaque if they win, which is what Hammer gave Tito after the first match when he destroyed it. At ringside Zach Gowen said he was just trying to survive and ended up getting the win.
Bill Apter interviewed the Rock n Roll Express who are apparently wrestling the Midnight Express now even though that wasn't the advertised match. This interview was even shorter than the Headbangers.
3. The Rock-n-Roll Express defeated The Midnight Express in 0:33. The Rock n Roll Express hit a double dropkick and got a pin, which looked like a little bit of a botch or some confusion, but there's been a lot of that in the first hour of the show. Maybe that's why the interview was so short, they didn't want it to last longer than the match.
For the third time in a row between matches, Gill at ringside didn't know if there was an interview backstage with Bill Apter or not. Apter interviewed Terry Funk who talked about his feud with Piper. He mentioned cat poop (yes, cat poop), his mother talking about raising idiots, and Piper's acting career. The camera then zoomed out as Funk walked away to show these interviews aren't backstage but rather in a trailer park with a Juggalo sign on a trailer.
The crowd looks pretty big, but it is just quiet tonight and doesn't sound like the typical JCW crowd I have heard about.
4. Rhino defeated Raven, Balls Mahoney, Shane Douglas, Sabu, 2 Cold Scorpio and Al Snow in 3:46. They started brawling and Sabu brought in a table. Rhino grabbed a quick win and that was too bad they ended this one quickly because those guys can move around and it was on pace to being the best match of the night. After the match, they continued to brawl on stage and Rhino's appearance for the Bloodymania show tomorrow night was plugged. He hit a spear on 2 Cold. Mick Foley made fun of Vince's "No Balls" at MSG. Al Snow was interviewed at ringside and they goofed around some more.
They tried sending it to the back for an interview with Bob Backlund, but then they backed out and said he just wanted to wrestle. So to kill time in between the matches Foley continued to tell fun stories, this one was about how he met Bob Backlund for the first time. They then spoke about Backlund's career overview.
5. Bob Backlund defeated Ken Patera in 6:12. Man I thought the battle royal was slow. So far on this show I wouldn't define anything as "embarrassing" but this was pretty close. Patera had Backlund in a bear hug for a long time and then a full nelson. Backlund applied the chicken wing which Patera battled out of but Backlund rolled Patera up from behind for the pin.
Backlund was in good shape, and entertaining, Patera shouldn't be wrestling even though he tried. Backlund went into the crowd to try and get them inspired, but they were all thinking about what to order for breakfast, or at least getting to bed. Backlund acted crazy his entire time out, and was entertaining.
6. "The Universal Heartthrob" Austin Idol defeated Koko B. Ware, Dutch Mantel, Brickhouse Brown and "Dangerous" Doug Gilbert in 2:42. All four beat down on Idol to start the match before it turned into a brawl with guys inside and out of the ring. As the brawl continued Idol rolled up Mantell for a quick pin. At ringside they interviewed Brickhouse Brown who said he came to knock some one out, and Austin Idol who talked about his attire and said words could not describe his win.
7. Tracy Smothers (w/Isabella) defeated "Wildfire" Tommy Rich in 0:36. At the start of the match, Foley and Gill at ringside interviewed David Penzer, who agreed he probably is a poor man's Jeremy Borash. Just as Penzer got done talking, in the ring they did the same finish Valentine and Tito did where he put his legs on the ropes to get the pin.
8. Kevin Nash and X-Pac (w/Scott Hall) defeated The New Age Outlaws with special guest referee Vampiro in 6:27. The Outlaws came out first and they both are still in good shape. They got on the mic and did their usual little promo as the crowd "whooped" and yelled "suck it" weakly to which Gunn said nice try. The Outsiders came out with X-Pac wearing "JWO" shirts and the old NWO music, which actually says "JWO" on the voiceover. They were announced as Kevin Nash and X-Pac with Scott Hall at ringside, so the match has been changed. This was probably good because Scott Hall shouldn't be wrestling.
Hall moved slow as the three got in the ring. Scott about his survey history and then asked tonight who came to see DX or who came to see the NWO. The crowd chanted NWO and he said that was lame but he'll give it to them. The wrestlers are also aware the crowd is dead. Scott's voice sounded a little rough and weak. I love Scott Hall and don't want to make judgments, and it is approaching four in the morning so who knows. The promo was good though, but he struggled to get in and out of the ring. Scott's one of the best talkers in history, and so entertaining, I'm always cheering for him to get it together.
Vampiro then was introduced as the special referee which was a little out of place with the rest of the match. As the match started, the crowd chanted "Razor." Gunn, Road Dogg, Pac, & Nash are all in pretty good shape considering the matches and miles they've logged and they had the tag match you would expect from these four in 2011, and was probably the best match of the night. They all moved well and hit their usual spots.
Vampiro counted very slow for Road Dogg's pin, and then later gave him a super kick which was followed by Nash pinning him. Vampiro then took off the shirt to unveil a JWO shirt, as Kevin Gill hyped the JWO, and the four posed at ringside. I guess that's where people would think this is sad as it's four in the morning and The Outsiders and X-Pac are celebrating under NWO rip off music dubbed the JWO and t-shirts throwing up Wolfpac signs.
At ringside they interviewed Kevin Nash who said X-Pac looked great and mentioned how rough the ring was. X-Pac then spoke about how he was just happy to be here. Foley kept putting over how Pac needs to go have one more run because he know he has it in him.
9. Rowdy Roddy Piper and Cowboy Bob Orton defeated Terry Funk and Mick Foley in 4:14. Mick Foley signed an autograph for a fan who came up and asked as he did commentary. Funny. Funk slapped down David Penzer in the corner after he got in the ring for no apparent reason. After Piper got to the ring Funk took the mic and again ripped on Piper's acting. He said even The Rock is better than him. Funk then cut the same promo he did earlier with Apter, and said Piper had stupid parents and that's why they produced an idiot like Piper.
Funk spoke how Piper was a phony. The crowd chanted "Roddy." Piper then responded by saying he "funked" Terry's mother, and they started brawling. The bell rang at 4:08am central time, what a crazy scenario. Funk put Piper in a sleeper at 1:30 in, but Orton broke it up. It then turned into a 2 on 1 brawl, and Foley said he didn't know if he could take this. Foley stood up and the crowd chanted "Foley." He made his way to the ring and the crowd actually got loud for the first time all night (or morning). Foley brawled with Orton, as Piper brawled with Funk. Funk got busted open, and the crowd chanted "Cactus Jack." The crowd really loved Foley.
Orton brawled with Funk in the ring as Piper came in after laying out Foley and pinned Funk. So much for an I Quit match. The crowd chanted "bullshit" as David Penzer announced Piper and Orton as the winners of what turned into a tag team match. Foley cut a promo on what a great audience it was. Foley sat back down at ringside, and they interviewed Funk. Funk continued to go on about Piper, and how he said the bad blood stemmed from Piper bad talking Funk's acting. I almost believed the way Funk was putting down Piper because Foley had just "broke kayfabe" and Funk went back into the promo. Brickhouse Brown came out to hug Foley as Gill signed off the show and plugged tomorrow night's $5 Bloodymania show.
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