Our WWE SmackDown results for tonight include Cody Rhodes responding to the assault by Randy Orton and Pat McAfee, Drew McIntyre to unmask the real Jacob Fatu, Sami Zayn looking for payback from Trick Williams, Royce Keys making his highly anticipated SmackDown debut, and Pat McAfee to reveal a MASSIVE SURPRISE. Here’s our review and grades for tonight’s show, live from the SAP Center in San Jose, California.
WWE SmackDown Card:
- Cody Rhodes responds to assault by Randy Orton and Pat McAfee
- Drew McIntyre to unmask the real Jacob Fatu
- Sami Zayn looks for payback from Trick Williams
- Royce Keys SmackDown debut
- Pat McAfee to reveal a MASSIVE SURPRISE
WWE SmackDown Results:
Backstage, Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes runs into SmackDown GM Nick Aldis. Rhodes is looking for Randy Orton and Pat McAfee. Aldis tells Rhodes to calm down. Rhodes wants McAfee. Aldis says it has come down from on high that Rhodes is not to put his hands on McAfee. Rhodes wants to know who gave the order. Aldis plays coy and tells Rhodes he knows who gave the order. Jelly Roll walks in and asks for Orton or McAfee. Aldis tells Jelly the same. Jelly proceeds to give Rhodes a pep talk about how it’s not about him or McAfee, it’s about 20 years of friendship lost between Orton and Rhodes. The champ needs to focus on that.
Grade: D
Are… Are we still doing this? Look, Jelly Roll is just fine. He has no business wrapped up in any of this. And if this was their attempt to shift Rhodes’ focus solely back to Orton, none of this was necessary. Any goodwill Jelly Roll has built up, they have tossed right in the trash. This is approaching Bray Wyatt right after his main roster debut territory.
Not Her IYO!!!!
Rhea Ripley storms to the ring and notes that WWE Women’s Champion Jade Cargill found Ripley’s one weakness: Her IYO (SKY). Ripley wants to whoop feet right here, right now. IYO SKY walks to the ring and tells Ripley that she understands she’s mad, but so is SKY. SKY wants Jade Cargill right here, right now! GM Aldis walks to the ring and tells SKY that she can have her match with Cargill tonight in the main event.
Grade: C+
This should have been the backstage segment that kicked off the show. A PO’d Ripley stomps backstage, runs into the GM, and blah blah. Starting a SmackDown with no announced matches and two talking segments is a bad sign for what the rest of the night has in store.
Bayley w/Lyra Valkyria vs. Alexa Bliss w/Charlotte Flair
Bliss and Bayley trade pin attempts, followed by a brief finisher exchange. Neither woman can get the advantage. Bliss eventually gets the win after Bayley is distracted by Flair on the outside of the ring, and Bliss gets a surprise roll-up.
Winner- Alexa Bliss
Grade: C+
Just happy this one actually had a finish.
Royce Keys vs. Berto
Keys dominates Berto, getting the win after a spinebuster.
Winner- Royce Keys
Grade B
Solid debut. Keys is an impressive specimen, and the crowd seemed to dig this short contest. Keys needs to string together a bunch of matches like this, old school semi-squashes. Keys could be HUGE in WWE. This is a great start.
Pat MAGAFee…
McAfee calls CM Punk spineless. McAfee notes that Punk called him “Pat MAGAFee.” McAfee asks if Punk’s merch money goes to the needy families or his bank account titled, “I’m sorry, Saudi Arabia.” McAfee says Punk doesn’t bring change. Punl rolls over in rooms with important people and rolls over like the B*tch he is. If it wasn’t for Randy Orton, why would anyone want to spend money on WrestleMania? McAfee claims to have gotten one of the sponsors to give fans 25% off on their WrestleMania tickets.
McAfee rants some more and swears because he thinks he’s ECW Shane Douglas or something. Cody Rhodes interrupts. McAfee hilariously sings Rhodes’ theme. So far, that has been the best part of this. Rhodes tells McAfee that he is going to go out on a limb and says McAfee doesn’t belong here. Rhodes tells McAfee he can do the fan WrestleMania experience, then go to whoever sent him here and say, “Thank you, daddy.” McAfee stands there as Rhodes tells him he’s a play wrestler.
The… Finish?
Rhodes proclaims that no one wants to see Pat McAfee. Rhodes tells McAfee to go home and drops the mic. McAfee dumps on Rhodes, calling him fake, and proclaims that if Randy Orton doesn’t walk out of WrestleMania as a 15-time world champion, we will never hear from McAfee in this business ever again. Orton appears on the ‘tron and h has apparently beaten up Jelly Roll. Orton drags Jelly out on the stage. Rhodes checks on Jelly. McAfee distracts Rhodes. Orton attacks Rhodes from behind.
Grade: D+
OMG WHAT IS THIS? Are we building to a WrestleMania main event between Rhodes and Orton, or a tag match between these four guys? After Orton destroyed Rhodes, this match had so much momentum before they muddied the waters with all this extra stuff. If adding McAfee is supposed to get people to boo Orton, it will not work. They are booing McAfee, not Orton.
Jacob Fatu vs. Tama Tonga w/MFTs
The fight immediately spills out of the ring. After the break, Tonga and Fatu are trading strikes. Tonga hits a modified neckbreaker for a near fall. Tonga calls for the Cut Throat. Fatu counters with a superkick. Pop up Samoan drop by Fatu. Fatu crushes Tonga with the Mighty Moonsault for the win.
Winner- Jacob Fatu
Fatu grabs a mic after the match. Drew McIntyre appears and attacks Fatu from behind. McIntyre drops Fatu with a Claymore. McIntyre launches Fatu into the steel ring steps, headfirst. Fatu is knocked out by a future shock DDT on the floor. McIntyre handcuffs Fatu and drags him into the ring post. McIntyre wraps the handcuffs around his fists and lays in a few stiff shots to Fatu’s head. McIntyre handcuffs Fatu to the ring post.
Fatu is busted open. McIntyre boots Fatu in the head, and the handcuffs unhook, and Fatu falls to the floor. McIntyre hangs Fatu on the rig post again and asks him how it feels to be back in chains, where he belongs. A handcuffed Fatu headbutts McIntyre. McIntyre boots Fatu in the head again. McIntyre Claymores Fatu again.
Grade: B
Fun match with an uncomfortably long beatdown after. Fatu and McIntyre are in Peter Griffin and the Chicken territory at this point; it’s on sight, and they are trying to murder each other. This is what a blood feud looks like.
The Gingerbread Man…
Sami Zayn notes that all of his friends have told him he needs to change to get ahead. He hears the crowd, and it sounds like they want change as well. Zayn wants to give the crowd something more. Something real. The crowd isn’t feeling Zayn. Despite the boos, Zayn knows that there are still fans in the crowd who care. Those are the ones Zayn cares about. He’s not going to betray himself for anyone. For those who are booing, he doesn’t know what he did, but he doesn’t care. Trick Williams and Lil Yacthy interrupt. Williams says he thinks the people are tired of hearing Zayn talk.
Williams dumps on Zayn for always crying and having bad breath. Zayn laughs. Williams says he knows Zayn hates him. William proclaims he’s going to beat Zayn’s a$$ at WrestleMania. Why? Because everyone loves Trick Williams. Zayn says he thinks the fans like Williams, but they don’t love him. He’s dressed like a 1970’s pimp. What’s not to like? Williams can make all the jokes he wants, at the end of the day, Zayn is a WrestleMania main eventer. At WrestleMania, Zayn is going to take Williams into the dark water. Yacthy yells Zayn, you can take it all away from Williams, but that doesn’t change anything. Williams is going to be crowned the NEW United States Champion.
Grade: B
This… was interesting. The slow rolling of this Zayn heel turn is fun. Zayn begging for “his” fans to cheer was hilarious. Give us more of this. Make Zayn as unlikable as humanly possible. Also, we need Yacthy to sign a full-time contract to be William’s manager. Yacthy is basically what Williams was for Carmelo Hayes in NXT. It’s a dynamic that works in ways this writer couldn’t have seen coming.
Trick Williams w/Lil Yacthy vs. Matt Cardona
Williams is in control early. Cardona fires back. Zayn gets up on the apron. Yacthy pulls Zayn off the apron. Yacthy mugs to the crowd. Zayn charges in and almost takes Yacthy’s head off with a Helluva Kick. Back in the ring, Williams is distracted by Yacthy eating his teeth outside the ring. Cardona rolls up Williams. Williams kicks out and drops Cardona with the Trick Shot for the win.
Winner- Trick Williams
Grade: B-
This match didn’t matter on any level, but watching Yacthy get his head kicked off was more than worth the price of admission.
Danhausen vs. Kit Wilson w/The Miz
Danhausen and Wilson go nose-to-nose. Wilson mushes Danhausen. Danhausen dropkicks Wilson. Northern lights suplex by Danhausen. Wilson kicks out. Wilson is shocked. Danhausen is sent into the ropes. Danhausen slides to the outside and puts his arm around Miz. Miz has no idea it’s Danhausen. Miz and Danhausen celebrate. Wilson slides out.
Miz realizes it’s Danhausen and almost jumps out of his boots. Wilson destroys Danhausen with a leaping European uppercut. Wilson beats down Danhausen. As Wilson is up top, Danhausen sits up like the Undertaker and curses Wilson. The pyro attached to the ringpost goes off, under Wilson’s balls. Wilson falls off the top. Danhausen lands a running boot for the win.
Winner- Danhausen
After the match, Miz sneaks into the ring and motions for a Skull Crushing Finale. The lights go out, and when they come back up, Danhausen is scurrying up the ramp.
Grade: C+
This was very nice and very evil.
WWE Women’s Champion Jade Cargill vs. IYO SKY
SKY attacks Cargill as soon as the bell rings. SKY uses her speed to run circles around Cargill until Cargill floors her with a shoulder block. SKY knocks Cargill out of the ring. SKY sets up a dive, but Cargill cuts her off with a right hand. Cargill drops SKY on the ring apron. After the break, SKY lands a bullet train attack. SKY goes up top. Cargill presses SKY off the top. SKY counter with a sleeper. Cargill counters with a slam. The fight spills out of the ring. Cargill sends SKY into the ring steps. Cargill hits Jaded for the win.
Winner- Jade Cargill
After the match, Cargill grabs a chair. Rhea Ripley runs down to the ring and protects SKY. Cargill walks away.
Grade: C+
Fun match, but way too short. If this match got its time cut for that awful McAfee rant…
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