I’ll admit it, I’ve been incredibly bored with the WWE product lately. It’s more than just the typical post-Mania withrawl of unusually high-quality content, it’s the distinct lack of anything unique or interesting to draw my attention. This past week I spent more time watching TNA than I did WWE; that should tell you something. Jim Ross recently posted in his blog about the WWE “shaking things up” at tonight’s No Way Out PPV. In wrestling terms that’s about as fickle as a Dixie Carter “major announcement” or a Hulk Hogan “game-changer”, but because it’s good ole’ JR I’ll hold my breath just once more. Still, I’m going to keep this short because I’ve got more negative to say than positive, and I really don’t want to become one of those writers.
Tuxedo Match
Ricardo Rodriguez vs Santino Marella
Despite what you may think, I’m not upset that this match is happening. I’m not bothered by the “mockery” this fight bestows upon the United States Championship. And I’m not even the least bit flustered that a current Champion stands a good chance of losing a gimmick match to a (televised) non-wrestler. Why? Because no matter how stupid this sounds, it’s probably going to be one of the most entertaining things to happen tonight.
Prediction: Let’s be honest…we all win
Divas Championship
Layla (c) vs Beth Phoenix
I can’t tell you how excited I am to pay for the same Divas match I paid to see last month! I applaud the WWE for using two of their best female talents at the same time, but there’s so little depth to either of their characters at this point, it’s like having a parade for the sake of having a parade. Also, you can’t forget: Kharma’s coming tonight guys. This time it’s for reals. I know we’ve been saying it for months and months, and she hasn’t shown up to “make wrestling fun again” — or was that some other dude’s line? — but this time she’s TOTALLY going to do it. I read it on the Twitter, it must be true.
Prediction: Mark Madden wins. Not because he’s going to watch this, but because he’s probably off somewhere watching real porn, and not feeling bad about it.
Pre-Show Match
Brodus Clay vs David Otunga
Do you know what makes me even more excited about a match between two people I don’t care about? A match between two people I don’t care about, on YouTube, where one of the guys has a storyline injury!
Prediction: Whoever has stock in the bowtie wins. I’ve seen the Funkadactyls live, and let me tell you…nobody wins there.
