Before A Single Shot Is Fired

BEFORE A SINGLE SHOT IS FIRED

Not to be negative (ahem), but TNA’s Monday launch looks dead in the water for reasons that should be fairly obvious.
 
WWE has Bret Hart. One of the promotion’s legendary figures returns. Hart has been absent for over 12 years. He left under the worst possible terms. What will it be like when Vince McMahon and Hart face off for the first time since the Montreal Screwjob? THIS IS PERSONAL, KING!
 
OK, I’m sold. As for TNA…

Well, Hulk Hogan will be there. OK, in what context? What scores does he have to settle? Will he wrestle? Will he walk without a limp? Will Brooke be there? Will she sing? Will Hulk rub her ass? Will Brian Knobs be there? Jimmy Hart? Brutus Beefcake? That no-good cradle-robbing wife?

Er, I don’t know. All we know is that Hogan will be there. Questions regarding his return to, uh, mainstream wrestling remain unasked, perhaps because TNA doesn’t know the answers and we don’t want to.
 
But Hogan will be there. That’s the extent of TNA’s promotion for the re-ignition of the Monday night wars.
 
I’m watching WWE. (Read More Below...)