Off The Air: WWE Writer Wanted

Aaron Maguire

The WWE corporate website (corpwwe.com) has a posting in the employment section stating that they are currently accepting resumes for a writing position.

I think I can help.

Nearly 100 fans wrote in to the Off The Air "You Book WrestleMania 28" column, with their ideas on how Mania would be presented, if they were given complete creative control. The majority of responses had at least one or two intriguing match-ups, and many came up with interesting cards, top to bottom.

Instead of WWE, Inc. hiring one writer, I propose that they steal my idea and ask the "Universe" to book several months worth of Raw, SmackDown and pay-per-view events. Staff members can divide up and go through the fan-influenced booking plans, making notes along the way on various details, labeled in categories such as "Unique Ideas," "Majority Rules," "Enough Already," "Overlooked," etc.

For example (using material from the Off The Air "You Book" column), in the category of Unique Ideas, Joseph Scicchitano suggests WrestleMania bring back the Money In The Bank match, but adds the twist of having two cases now, one for a World title shot and the other for an Intercontinental or United States title shot. Another unique idea was sent in by Ruth Streich, who booked Primo and Epico putting the Tag Team titles on the line against the New Age Outlaws. For nostalgia purposes, this could be entertaining. Also, if Primo and Epico were to put Road Dogg and Billy Gunn in a dumpster and push it off a stage, replicating the angle between the Outlaws, Mick Foley and Terry Funk, there's a possibility the current champions might start to get over.

In the category of Majority Rules, 98% of responses booked John Cena vs. The Rock, while 90% booked Cody Rhodes vs. Goldust. Not far behind those matches were Beth Phoenix defending the Diva's Championship against Natalia and the World Heavyweight Championship on the line in a Triple Threat.

The participants in the World Heavyweight title match, were not unanimously agreed upon though, as many had some combination of Daniel Bryan, Shameus, Wade Barrett, Randy Orton and Mark Henry involved. Obviously, the majority of the wrestling audience is interested in seeing these matches, so those would be automatic.

Surprisingly, there were enough "WWE & World Heavyweight Unification" matches booked by the fans, that strong consideration has to be given to bringing back the Undisputed Championship, and adding the two main titles to the Enough Already category. The brand split is virtually non-existent now, so having separate belts on SmackDown and Raw does seem rather unnecessary.

According to the readers of Off The Air, Drew McIntyre is Overlooked. That's the first time "Drew McIntyre" and "over" were used in the same sentence. However, having McIntyre and William Regal featured as rivals on weekly television instead of Eve and the Bella Twins, would be an improvement as nearly all Divas seem to be in the category of Enough Already.

It's worth noting how many wrestling fans are truly frustrated with the Divas in WWE. Sam Winks booked his personal choice WrestleMania event, which featured nine great matches that obviously had some thought put into them, and then the last match listed was, "Divas Match -I don't give a sh*t."

That sentiment seemed to sum up how so many members of the WWE Universe feel right now. Hector Colavito booked a match for his WrestleMania card that included a match between two females -not Divas. He explained, "If it's my Mania, I'm booking girls that can actually wrestle! Sara Del Rey vs. Mia Yim would be my dream match." Interestingly enough, it appears that wrestling fans… want wrestling! It seems so simple, yet it's the most confusing concept for the WWE to understand.

The WWE is full of an entire "Universe" of writers to choose from. They may not have college degrees. The C-List actors, married to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, have all been hired, fired and re-hired (and re-fired?). There may not be 10 years of failed-sitcom writing experience on any of their resumes. Some may not have resumes. The most important quality they do have is knowledge. Wrestling fans are knowledgeable of the product they invest so much time and money into, so why not ask them what they want? The search for a Creative Writer will end once the WWE starts opening it's eyes.

Aaron Maguire can be followed on Twitter: @FairToAar. He believes the Steamboat/Savage match at WrestleMania 3 is overratd, has a strong dislike for chocolate and birds, enjoys the stand-up comedy of Erik Cribley and in 1997, wrote a column predicting Rockabilly (Billy Gunn) would be a hugely successful character in the WWF.

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