Game Plan For WWE’s New Saturday Morning Show

Nick Paglino

Tyson Kidd“Welcome to the WWE’s brand new Saturday morning program, and our first match is in the ring… It’s Tyson Kidd vs Drew McIntyre!

As you can see, Kidd is thinking about doing some great high flying moves while McIntyre is thinking about grounding his opponent. Each is thinking about high-impact offense and potentially winning this match! But with strict adherence to the new Saturday morning policy that bans any moves above the neck, they can only think about doing anything that fans will want to see. Because, you see, fans, WWE doesn’t do wrestling… Wait, both have just been given their notice!

Yes, each has been “future endeavored” mid-match because Vince is watching this match from the Gorilla position and was bored stiff! Now, let’s go to these heavily edited Raw highlights featuring ring entrances, still shots and no action!”

Satire above, of course but the point is what the hell are you going to do on a wrestling show that doesn’t want to have moves that young fans could potentially want to emulate at home? Bearhugs? Waistlocks? Tests of strength? Dirty looks?

Now, I’m all for guys wrestling safely and telling a good story in the ring but a big part of the problem with this directive is that the WWE is a fishbowl and the biggest marks are sitting at Gorilla or are in the Production truck. “They” will see these guys wrestling in “boring” matches and they will be labeled as guys who don’t “get it” and aren’t ready for Raw, soon to be “future endeavored”. So, guys who aren’t deemed important enough to get a storyline on Raw in the first place will now be relegated to this Saturday morning fiasco and then be put in positions to only fail. Because if you are on Raw, you can’t be seen twice by the live crowd or it will “kill your pop”. So JTG? Get ready for Saturday Morning Slam!!!

All for a show that will become a highlight package show within six months anyway. And all for a show that was probably the brainchild of a political campaign’s focus group.

This is more political correctness run amok, with Linda’s Senatorial Campaign still running the show. I know for a fact that many within the WWE were hoping that Mrs. McMahon would lose her primary last Tuesday, despite a large lead in the polls. Now that she she’s won and moves on to the General Election in November, you can be sure that more of this PC wrestling will continue.

But no one will get fired for fear of making Linda look less like a job-creator… I’ve written about it before. Only AW got fired, not for a rape joke but for stooging off the fact that WWE Superstars are encouraged to campaign for Linda. Booker T will be getting fired soon, by the way… he’s been made the GM on Smackdown and that’s the kiss of death. Not until after November 6th but soon enough.

If any parent lets their kid watch Raw, Smackdown or a watered-down Saturday morning show the WWE produces, they know what the deal is… Taking out any potentially dangerous moves so kids can’t emulate them? Jeannie’s already left that Bottle, Vince, and you can’t put her back in.

This is not about the safety of the wrestlers or the potential poisoning of the minds of young viewers of the show… it’s all about the fear that some kid will drop his little brother on his head between now and November and somehow Linda will get blamed for it.

Please take this back to your focus group, Linda. We know what the deal is and stop it. Just… stop… it!

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