Tyson Kidd: Great Performer, Bad Timing/Coitus. Do You Like It?

Nick Paglino

Tyson KiddI like Tyson Kidd. Solid, well-rounded worker. Good look and charisma. Many call Kidd WWE’s most underutilized talent. He’s purt’ near, if not plumb. Kidd is GOOD.

It doesn’t matter, and won’t ever matter.

Timing is everything in life. In fake wrestling, even more so.

By current WWE standards, Kidd is too small to make the jump to serious competitor. He doesn’t talk well enough to force his way in, like C.M. Punk. WWE doesn’t use managers much, so no one talks for Kidd. WWE places little emphasis on tag teams.

So, even though Kidd is (almost by consensus) EXCELLENT, that’s not relevant. There’s not a prominent spot for him. THAT performer doesn’t get THAT job.

Much is made of Kidd being the last graduate of Stu Hart’s Dungeon. A distinction, to be sure. But that did not prepare him for WWE. It’s like when Jim Cornette ran OVW: He prepared the trainees for Mid-South Wrestling in the ‘80s, not WWE. For a promotion that no longer existed. For what he wanted wrestling to be, not what it is.

Kidd would be ideal for Mid-South in the ‘80s. Or TBS Saturday night, same time frame. It’s easy to imagine Kidd in a heel tag team, torturing Ricky Morton.

As great at Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels were, they were huge beneficiaries of timing. Each initially prospered in a strong tag-team division, then got big singles pushes because WWE was trying to live down a steroid scandal. Their size – minute compared to stars like Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior – was not seen as a detriment. Quite the opposite, however temporarily.

See? Timing. Speaking of which…

Even though diminished numbers and muted crowd response indicate WWE should have put the title on Ryback at Hell in a Cell, it’s good to see Ryback’s push continue, and better still to see The Shield jump in at the main-event level.

There’s a notion among WWE’s hierarchy that you’ve got to be on TV for two years before you can get over. That you’ve got to pay your dues.

That’s utter nonsense. The entertainment industry is about striking while the iron is hot. Exposure on TV as a mid-level performer for two months (never mind TWO YEARS) hurts. You get branded real quick. When you catch fire, ADD GASOLINE.

See the concept of “paying dues” for what it is: A way for WWE’s pecking order to be maintained for the benefit of those on top. WrestleMania main event time? CALL THE PART-TIMERS! THEY PAID THEIR DUES! The Shield and Ryback won’t change that.

COITUS. DO YOU LIKE IT?

Maria KanellisI enjoy Kevin Kelly’s work on this site and his work on play-by-play for ROH. Whether the IWC wants to admit it or not, you can’t replace experience in the industry when it comes to giving insight, and Kevin knows what he’s talking about. He’s lived it.

That said, I LOL’d when Kevin reprinted Maria Kanellis’ email that proclaimed her boyfriend, Mike Bennett, the “savior of wrestling.” Laughed ‘til I cried.

Bennett’s not bad. He has charisma. His look stands out in ROH. Most of ROH’s wrestlers look like puppies from the same litter. It doesn’t matter how good you are if you can’t be separated from the pack. Bennett can talk a bit, too, and Maria looks better than she ever did in WWE. Bennett and Maria are not a bad package.

But when somebody endorses the person they’re ****ing as the “savior of wrestling,” how can you not find that hysterical? There is no one LESS QUALIFIED than Maria to give an OBJECTIVE opinion on Mike Bennett. OF COURSE YOU THINK HE’S GREAT. YOU’RE ****ING HIM. What else would you think, or say?

Maria certainly went the distance, too, writing a lengthy, well-worded dissertation. Every time I almost believed her, I thought: WAIT A MINUTE. THEY’RE ****ING! HAW, HAW, HAW, HAW! Funnier still, some marks took her seriously.

Then again, Maria used to bang C.M. Punk, and he may actually BE the savior of wrestling. That vagina bestows greatness. Forget the man. Hire the vagina.

Mark Madden hosts a radio show 3-6 p.m. weekdays on WXDX-FM, Pittsburgh, PA(105.9) . Check out his web page at WXDX.com. Contact Mark by emailing wzmarkmadden@hotmail. com. FOLLOW MARK ON TWITTER: @MarkMaddenX

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