We’re in Richmond, Virginia. Hosts are Hall of Famer’s Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler. In charge, for the interim, is Jonathan Coachman. At least in charge of tonight’s show.
PROMO TIME ï¿½ï¿½” Mick Foley
He says he asked for permission to open the show. He says his comments last week, in retrospect, were inappropriate. He talks about Vince antagonising him over the years but he gave him a job and made him a huge success. The crowd, already tiresome, launches into WHAT’s. Foley apologises to the McMahon family drawing heat but this brings out RANDY ORTON. He calls Foley insincere and doesn’t appreciate Foley’s character assassination of McMahon last week. Orton talks about the possibility of Foley being involved with the killing of Vince McMahon. Orton thinks he has a motive. This in turn brings out KING BOOKER. No Queen Sharmell this evening. He says there’s a federal investigator here tonight who’s spoken to Bobby Lashley for over an hour. It seems Booker is ready to pin the blame on Lashley. Booker makes a good case pointing out Lashley used to be an army ranger. This naturally brings out BOBBY LASHLEY. He has no words but shoves Booker over in lieu of talking. This brings out the champ. JOHN CENA is here. He’s actually wearing the title belt for a change. This leads to the three faces being in the ring while the two heels take a powder. He calls them Kojak and Ace Ventura before pointing out this is wrestling not Law & Order. Cena points out you need more than finger pointing to convict a killer. He talks about the many enemies Vince made over the years. This includes everyone involved in the XFL, prostitutes, pimps and “male escorts” he’s screwed over. Cena says the wishes of the McMahon’s are to just get on with the show. This brings out THE COACH. He points out the five guys in the ring are in the title match come Sunday. He books Orton/Booker v Lashley/Cena as tonight’s main event in Vince McMahon’s honour. Coach talks about how much Vince hated Foley’s last book and promptly books Foley v Umaga to teach him a lesson. That’s tonight folks!
PAUL LONDON & BRIAN KENDRICK v WORLDS GREATEST TAG TEAM
Londrick has changed their ring gear to Raw Red. This is the kind of match that every Indy promotion in the country could run as a main event and sell out their building. London flips around and shows Haas how he rolls. Haas decides to cut off the ring though and keep London grounded with his superior mat skills. They run a nice series of counters in the corner until Shelton boots London in the chest to kick start the heat segment. Shelton in with a Rolling Necksnap for 2. Lawler talks about Paul London smiling when Vince left the building last week and was the only guy to do so. Interesting observation from Lawler as the whodunnit angle tries to incorporate absolutely everyone on the roster. While he’s talking the hot tag is made. Looks like Londrick will have to win over the Raw crowd based on that luke warm reaction. London rana’s Shelton out of the ring to wake them up. Kendrick lands on his feet off a German suplex and the Shiranui finishes at 3.21.
Winners: Londrick via pinfall . WGTT sure got made into jobbers again didn’t they? At least Londrick looked great on their debut.
BACKSTAGE FBI’s Daniel Beck talks to the Coach. JR & King talk over it.
SHILL ï¿½ï¿½” “Gone” by Fuel, which is the theme music of Vengeance.
PROMO TIME ï¿½ï¿½” Carlito
He says he’s cool but there’s no one cooler than Mr McMahon. He wants to talk about the draft. He says Torrie Wilson & Ric Flair were the big winners because they got drafted off *his* show Raw. Carlito rambles on until he’s interupted by THE SANDMAN. Carlito verbally berates him as he makes his way through the crowd. “This isn’t happy hour, this is Carlito’s time”. Sandman scares Carlito off with the Singapore cane and that’s the end of that segment. The closest we get to action is Sandman busting himself open with his beer can.
BACKSTAGE Cryme Tyme pay tribute to Mr McMahon by calling him a capitalist. They have a host of Mr McMahon memorabilia available. They have his half full cup of coffee from last week, his supper from last week and “the trash can we stole it all out of”. They’re interupted by FBI investigator Daniel Beck who wants to ask them a few questions.
Sidenote ï¿½ï¿½” is that deliberate? Hey, a crime went down. Let’s question those two black guys. If the WWE was going full on for racial profiling then they should just arrest Khali and Daivari right now.
KHOSROW DAIVARI v JEFF HARDY
The tag champs are at ringside to mock Hardy for losing to them. Hardy takes Daivari over with a nice headscissors. He’s slammed in position for the quick finish but pops back up and crotches Jeff on the ropes. Cade & Murdoch look miffed at every “Hardy” chant. Sign in crowd ï¿½ï¿½” “I love the Hardy Girls”. Jeff comes back with his hair matrix spot. Gourdbuster gets 2. Lawler starts making racial stereotyping remarks about Daivari but gets cut off by Hardy hitting the Whisper in the Wind. Hardy with the corner dropkick for 2. Suplex gets 2. Daivari gets caught in the Twist of Fate but mistakes it for a neckbreaker and back bumps it. Swanton Bomb finishes at 4.26.
Winner: Jeff Hardy via pinfall .
POST MATCH Cade grabs the mic and calls Jeff unsporting. Murdoch says they play by the rules but the Hardys pushed them into a corner. They’re still trying to act like babyfaces in the old school sense of the word and Jeff hits them with a pescado. Cade is just as pissed off as Murdoch now.
BACKSTAGE Coach complains on the phone about the FBI guy interviewing everyone EVEN HIM. Coach is going insane with all the responsibility. For some reason IRON SHEIK turns up. He wants his own show. As in a talk show on Raw. Coach thinks it’s interesting but I’m amazed he could understand what the hell he was saying. Shiek continues to rant and there’s RON SIMMONS. You know the rest.
ELSEWHERE William Regal points out he just got drafted to Raw to Maria. They’re joined by Santino Marella. Regal hates Italians so much he just walks off. Maria wants Santino to talk in Italian.
ELSEWHERE Todd Grisham interviews Vince’s limo driver from last week. Thomas Pagliaro is his name. He left the limo to talk to his wife on the phone. By the time he returned it exploded. “If I’d have been anywhere near the limoâ<80>¦I’d have been blown up too”. Way to state the bleedin’ obvious Tommy. He carries on talking and Todd doesn’t have the common sense to take the mic away.
ELSEWHERE Mick Foley walks. We then get the clips of Ed Kaufman again from the top of the show.
MICK FOLEY v UMAGA
Foley is wrestling his first singles match on Raw since 2000. JR deliberately makes his Skittles plug more solemn than usual. Where’s Estrada gone? He was the best thing about Umaga. Foley knows he’s out of his depth here and high knees Umaga before he’s in the ring. Umaga goes on the defensive and rakes the eyes. Foley hammers away in the corner. BANG BANG! But Foley runs into a clothesline. Umaga hammers away. No bell to start the match yet. Umaga jumps off the apron but Foley punches him in the ribs. Foley grabs a chair and bashes Umaga in the head. He goes to follow up but Umaga superkicks the chair into his face. BUTTALANCHE INTO THE RING STEPS~! Crowd suddenly gets hushed for all of 30 seconds or so before starting to boo Umaga. No bell to either start or end the match but it ran about 2.30.
Winner: no decision .
BACKSTAGE Daniel Beck is chatting to John Cena out of earshot.
OUTSIDE a limo arrives. No one gets out.
BACKSTAGE Daniel Beck tries to get a word with Mick Foley but he’s suffering from a concussion. Probably.
PROMO TIME ï¿½ï¿½” Mr Kennedy
MIIIIIISTEEEEEEEEEEEER KENNEDY is in the house. KENNEDY. Crowd bites on it. He says he’s sick to his stomach. He’s upset about losing his beloved chairman Mr McMahon. He’s also upset because he got drafted to Raw. He says he didn’t get along with the Smackdown audience. But he really, really, really, really, really doesn’t like the Raw audience at all. They have no respect for talent. He says Mr McMahon was a genius but got no respect from the Raw crowd. Which is the point where the crowd turns on him. Kennedy says he’s the greatest thing to ever grace the WWE let alone Monday Night Raw. He goes on to talk about how he was friends with Mr McMahon. He told Kennedy that “good things happen to good people, great things happen to people who work really hard”. He says he’ll dedicate his career to the legacy of Vincent KENNEDY McMahon. KENNEDY.
OUTSIDE the limo remains parked. The driver gets out but the passenger doesn’t.
In memory of Sensational Sherri 1958-2007.
MELINA PEREZ/JILLIAN HALL v MICKIE JAMES/CANDICE MICHELLE
Jillian brings her singing gimmick over to Raw and dedicates a song to Mr McMahon. She promptly butchers Amazing Grace for about 2 seconds before Mickie’s music kicks in. BIG ovation for Mickie who’s from Richmond. Candice starts with Jillian, which leads to heat on Candice when Melina trips her. Jillian with a handspring back elbow for 2. Crowd LOUDLY chants “we want Mickie”. No dice. The heat continues. They botch a flapjack, Melina on Candice. I think it might have been supposed to be a backdrop. Melina prevents the hot tag. Candice backdrops her and there’s the HOT tag. Mickie cleans house and hits a fisherman suplex for 2. She elbows Jillian around as well. Mickiecanrana on her. Melina & Mickie trade forearms until Mickie counters into a neckbreaker for 2. The heels team for a wheelbarrow bomb/bulldog. Candice runs in to spear Jillian. Mickie gets the roll up on Melinaâ<80>¦for 2. Melina busts out a leg version of the Final Cut at 4.59 for the VERY unpopular pin.
Winners: Melina & Jillian via pinfall . Best match of the night oddly enough. Although they really didn’t need that finish and pissed the crowd off in a nothing match that they were super psyched for.
– J.R. & King take us back to the closing moments of Raw, never before seen footage is shown – they cut back to the white lio parked in the parking lot, still no one exits.
JR & King get all choked up about Vince McMahon “dying” last week before throwing to footage of his death. Classy. It’s things like that where if you were going for realism then you wouldn’t have slo-mo replays of the car exploding. Or maybe you would.
OUTSIDE there’s still a limo there. Lawler calls the presence of the limo “eerie”.
RANDY ORTON/KING BOOKER w/Queen Sharmell v JOHN CENA/BOBBY LASHLEY
Booker-Lashley to start renewing their feud from Smackdown a few years back. Booker dances to avoid Lashley’s aggressive attempted to striking. Sharmell punches along with every Booker comeback strike. Lashley powers him over with a suplex for 2. Powerslam gets 2. Cena wants in and gets a mixed reaction that leans towards a pop. Orton comes in and gets caught in a fisherman suplex. Lashley back in for a double hip toss. Booker runs in but Cena clotheslines him outside, which is usually the signal for a commercial breakâ<80>¦and there is it. We return with Cena caught in the Ortonlock. Booker cheap shotted him during the break. Cena gets out and hits the facebuster. He crawls over to tag Lashley but Booker cuts him off. The heels put the boots to Cena and then Booker works his own chinlock. Orton back in for the Garvin Stomp. That looks so stupid. Back to the Ortonlock. Cena tries hauling Orton over to his corner one leg at a time. But the Ortonlock overpowers him and we go back to the mat. Cena powers back up and turns into the Ortonlock before kicking out. They collide on a clothesline attempt and both guys stay down. Hot tag and Lashley is in along with Booker to bounce off him. Booker gets his feet up but gets caught in an Exploder. Lashley is all kinds of jacked up. He goes for a backbreaker/Torture Rack but Orton runs in. Cena saves. Booker superkicks him. Lashley looks for the Dominator. Orton tags in blind. Booker gets spinebustered. RKO on Lashley at 12.50.
Winners: Orton & Booker via pinfall . The ending was out of nowhere. I guess they’re stressing how Orton can finish out of nowhere for the big 5-way on Sunday.
OUTSIDE there’s still no sign of life in the limo. Door is open. And we haveâ<80>¦STEPHANIE MCMAHON. She heads towards the building.
Stephanie makes her way to the ring, she thanks the fans for their support, she then informs us that next weeks Raw will be 3 hours long and will feature superstars from all 3 brands in a celebration of Mr. McMahon’s life, she warns everyone that vengeance will belong to the McMahon family when they find out who did this, Steph then manages to say “I love you, Dad” before leaving the ring crying…show over.