The 03/21/16 edition of WWE Raw reviewed in about 4 minutes – featuring a huge stipulation added to the Shane McMahon vs The Undertaker Hell in a Cell match at Wrestlemania 32, Kevin Owens’ Mania Intercontinental match decided (a seven man ladder match!), the Andre the Giant Battle Royal teased, Roman Reigns goes after Triple H, Chris Jericho and AJ Styles continue their feud and more…
KEVIN OWENS BEATS AJ STYLES
Kevin Owens took on AJ Styles in a great, indie-style 12 minute match (Owens frog splash and no-selling of superkicks included). Afterwards they did that thing where wrestlers come out one after the other to say why they should face Owens at KO-Mania, with Dolph Ziggler, The Miz and Sami Zayn all having a go. Dolph dropped a Botchamania reference, but joke of the night goes to Miz calling Zayn “skinny Seth Rogen”.
Owens makes a triple threat match to decide his opponent…but between Stardust, Sin Cara and Zack Ryder.
It was a really good gag by Owens, but one that possesses a sad, melancholic core, like a clown with manic depression. Look how far Cody Rhodes has fallen. At least he’s on the show, though. Damien Sandow is practicing cartwheels in a car park somewhere.
Miz, Zayn and Ziggler – which sounds like a hilariously wacky sitcom law firm – come down to protest, and before Owens knows it, he’s in a seven man ladder match for his intercontinental title at Wrestlemania.
FANDANGO GETS REWOUND
The Owens/AJ match also span into Styles and Jericho’s ongoing feud. Jericho distracted AJ in that opening match, letting Owens steal a win. Styles got his revenge later on when he popped up for Chris Jericho’s Wrestlemania Rewind match against Fandango.
When AJ eventually went for Jericho, Y2J quickly ran escaped, weirdly using one of the crew as a weapon at one point. Which means Dean Ambrose will probably also be given random-crew-member man to use against Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania.
DEAN AMBROSE GETS A CHAINSAW
Following on from Mick Foley giving Dean a barbed wire bat, this week Terry Funk gave him a chainsaw. The way this is escalating, next week he’s gonna be given a gun. How ‘street’ are they going to make this ‘street fight’? Are drive-bys allowed? Flick-knives? Can I buy crack from the guy by the train station? We’ll have to wait and see.
But I am good for it if you have any crack.
In the main event of the show, Ambrose took on Braun Strowman. It was so good, the crowd started a ‘this is boring’ chant a few minutes in. Ambrose got the DQ loss because he used a chair to foreshadow his upcoming street fight with Lesnar. I have no idea why this ended the show.
…watch the video below for the rest of the review, including another Roman Reigns/Triple H beatdown, the Andre the Giant Failed Push Award and Vince McMahon adding a huge stipulation to Shane McMahon vs The Undertaker at Wrestlemania 32…
The 03/21/16 edition of WWE Raw ended with a Dean Ambrose vs Braun Strowman match. Oli Davis thinks he can do better with some OUTLANDISH FANTASY BOOKING! …which would make Wrestlemania 32’s Hell in a Cell match considerably more crazy.
Welcome to our new WrestleTalk series, where each week we ask the question: how should WWE Raw have actually ended?
It involves 20% proper thinking, and 80% outlandish fantasy booking.
This week’s is easy. Don’t end on the Dean Ambrose vs Braun Strowman match! And if you are, at least have Brock Lesnar run out to make it interesting.
There you go. That’s it. Article over.
I’m kidding, we’ve got more. I would’ve made the final WWE Raw segment something else: Vince’s ‘big announcement’.
Not only was there no Brock Lesnar on the penultimate Raw before Wrestlemania. There was also no Shane McMahon or The Undertaker. To get around this, Vince came out all tits and teeth to progress the story by himself. Which he chose to do so by adding a stipulation: If Undertaker loses, he has to retire.
A Shane McMahon vs The Undertaker Hell in a Cell match at Wrestlemania 32 for control of WWE Monday Night Raw doesn’t really need another stipulation added. It’s like giving the Mona Lisa a duck faced selfie pout, or putting three cages on top of each other like it’s Ready to Rumble. Crown me.
The threat of the Undertaker’s final match should be a whole event by itself, not lost in 100 tonnes of solid steel – all stats fact checked by JR – and the weird flappy hands Shane McMahon calls punches. So how should Vince have kept the proverbial storyline plate spinning without Undertaker or Shane there?
I’ll give you the more realistic answer first.
Add a special guest referee: Shawn Michaels. We already know he’s going to appear at the show, but his role hasn’t yet been announced. If Shane wins, that is not good for Shawn’s best friend forever Triple H. There’s also the dynamic that Shawn never beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, and he’d be damned if Shane is going to succeed where he failed. Of course, that makes Shawn Michaels a bad guy in his home state of Texas, but the WWE did burn the home town advantage when they did the exact same thing with The Undertaker.
