Kofi & Sheamus: A Love Story

MY GOD! MY GOD! THAT LIST SUCKS!

The recent “Top 10 Announcers” list on Wrestlezone.com, as voted on by readers and compiled by Nick Paglino, was an utter mockery.

I have no quibble with Gordon Solie and Jim Ross as top two, but I’d put Ross first, Solie second. Ross puts more emotion into his call, more sell. That’s what being a wrestling announcer is about. You’re not supposed to be Walter Cronkite. It’s a work. In today’s WWE, where pimping PPVs is paramount, Solie couldn’t cut it. But, in the more “real” environment of ‘80s Mid-South, Ross still excelled. That’s why he’s No. 1.

Tony Schiavone isn’t on the list, but should be No. 3. Anybody who disagrees doesn’t get it. Look at longevity. Look at career accomplishment. Look at Schiavone’s role in helping get over the nWo invasion. Was he burned out at the end? Probably. Did you see him work for Jim Crockett Promotions or on TBS’ Saturday night show? You should have. Evaluate Schiavone’s career as a whole. Don’t judge him by his exit.

If you do rate Schiavone only by his latter days, take Jesse Ventura and Bobby Heenan off the list. They were legends in WWE, but stole paychecks in WCW. Each should be embarrassed by his work there.

Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes shouldn’t be on the list. I know, I know, they were part of your childhood. But in terms of execution and elocution, they were jokes, cartoon characters, simply terrible.

Joey Styles belongs because he got over a product that changed wrestling. But perhaps an asterisk should be placed by his name because he called matches on tape, during post-production. It’s still difficult, but you can eliminate mistakes. You don’t have the chance to look foolish.

Three guys that got honorable mention should definitely be on the list. Nobody walked the fine line between getting both his personality and the product over better than Paul Heyman. Roddy Piper was the first true heel color commentator and nobody was better, not even Heenan in his prime. Lance Russell should feel insulted by getting mere honorable mention. He not only belongs on the list, he should be no lower than No. 4. He was voted “Best Television Announcer” in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter poll from 1984-87, a peak period for the business. With all due respect to Jerry Lawler, Lance Russell WAS Memphis wrestling.

Not only that, but where the hell was I?

Mark Madden can be reached at wzmarkmadden@hotmail.com.

 

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