WWE has officially launched WWEKids.com as part of their family-friendly initiative. Being an arrested adolescent/kid at heart/out-and-out immature forty-something man, I checked it out.
Chock full oâ information on WWE superstars and more videos than you can shake a YouTube at. There are games to occupy a youngsterâs time, such as:
Triple Hâs Whack-An-Orton — Kind of like Wac-A-Mole, but with intentions that are more violent. You use a mallet to whack Randy Orton as he appears out of various holes.
Excuse me, but is anyone else getting any sexual connotations from that game?
Rey Mysterioâs Match-Em-Mania — Similar to the old Concentration game, but with Reyâs various masks confounding the player. This could be a popular game with spin-offs aplenty. Maybe one featuring all the Mysterio tattoos or the various body parts and muscles he has injured during his WWE tenure.
You Can See Cena — Call me an idiot, but I have no idea how to win this one. I think you have to click the specific image of John Cena that matches the one provided at the top. But I was getting nowhere. Maybe with Cenaâs various injuries, they could have come up with an âOperation-styleâ of game with the kiddieâs working on Cenaâs Wrenched Ankle, Spare Ribs, Wish Bone or Bread Basket.
HBKâs Sweet Chin Music — This was the strangest game of all. Similar to Galaga, heads of HBKâs opponents fall as HBK superkicks them before they blow him up. In my game, I saw Batista and Chris Jericho on the first level. I didnât get past it, but I hear that progressive levels feature Job, Pontius Pilate, Judas, and an evil Jesus with just a soul patch.
Most troubling is âSexy Boyâ playing over the game. Yes, just the song you want stuck in the head of your kid.
With that in mind, I have ideas for other WWEKids.com games.
Brian Gerwitz Gets an Idea — You hold a pencil while light bulbs fall. Try to find the original booking ideas in each light bulb. Okay, itâs a trick game. You wonât find any original ideas.
Triple H Keeps â~Em Down — Like Tetris, you stack up opponents in such a way that they will never reach the top. â~Nuff said.
Match the Implants — Think of the best Concentration game ever! Probably more appropriate for WWEAdults.com.
Big Show Food Keepaway — Heâs slim and svelte again. Help the Show dodge Buffalo wings, cheeseburgers and tacos.
The Braden Walker Quick Release — I have no ideas here, just thought it sounded funny.
