What’s up wrestling fans? This is Nick “The Man of 1,000 Names,” welcoming you to my first review of ECW on Sci-Fi. Tonight WWE presented the 100th episode of ECW and to say the least, it felt just like any other episode in my opinion. The show was bookended by two great matches, but was filled with mostly Raw and Smackdown recaps and a couple throw away contests. The curve ball of the evening was thrown in the form of Mike Adamle, who presumably is continuing his gimmick of being a horrible play-by-play man, however it was less apparent as a “storyline” than it was last night on Raw. I am going to dedicate the entire last section of this review to Mike Adamle because his awful performance was too scattered throughout the broadcast to have to constantly refer back to. With that being said, we kick off tonight’s show with our opening bout.
Tommy Dreamer vs Mike Knox in an Extreme Rules Match. This was a great opening match, and reminded me of the potential that ECW has to be a truly unique brand. The thought process behind why WWE has decided to eliminate consistent Extreme Rules matches is simple. The more you have them, the less impact they have in the long run. However, this is what made ECW special, and more importantly, what could enable ECW to brand itself in comparison to Raw and Smackdown. I think WWE needs to go back to having one Extreme Rules match of the evening for each broadcast. It gives the fans something special to watch every Tuesday night. All in all, however, this was a great way to open the show, and both guys had a hard-hitting outing. Out of a possible 9 stars, I am going to give this match 7 stars.
Back from commercial break and we have Kelly Kelly, the original ECW on Sci-Fi diva, showing us that 100 episodes later she still can hardly walk let alone dance. After a bit of back and forth between her and Layla, which was supposed to be a dance battle, but looked more like a dancer competing against a pair of stilts, the two women rolled around in a classic ECW “catfight” with one crucial thing missing: A commentator that knows it was called a catfight. This was decent for what it was because talented or not, these two girls are incredibly beautiful.
Next up, we had a backstage interview in which Lena Yada attempted to speak English, and Chuck Palumbo stared at her as if all she said was “yada yada yada.”
This brings us to our next contest, Kofi Kingston vs Matt Striker. Not much to review here, this was a simple squash match, but even in the confines of one minute Kofi still manages to impress me. His version of skinning the cat was really subtle and innovative, and as always, his finisher is just beautiful. Out of a possible 9 stars I give this match 3 stars.
After a “walk of fame” to the ring by Colin Delaney, we are introduced to our next matchup in the form of General Manager Armando Estrada vs Colin Delaney. If Colin wins, he earns his ECW contract. Honestly, it was hard to really keep an eye on this brief match because my attention was constantly being diverted towards Estrada’s fallopian-tube sized bicep veins. When did this guy blow up? And who knew he could wrestle? With Estrada’s clear and established mic skills, it’s a wonder WWE has never attempted to push this guy as a wrestler. Nice to see Colin finally earn his contract, and it will be interesting to see how his character progresses from here. Out of a possible 9 stars, I give this match 4 stars.
After a commercial break and a rundown of the actions Vickie Guerrero took against the Undertaker last week on Smackdown, the broadcast team, now made up of about 35 people, introduce us to our main event of the evening, a tag team match pitting Bam Neely and Chavo Guerrero against Mr. Money in the Bank CM Punk and his partner, the ECW Champion, Kane. This was a solid tag match to close the show. I like the pairing of Chavo and Bam, and I would like to see Bam’s character start to take shape now that we’ve been properly introduced to him. This is what ECW needs to be doing. Use their hourly program to build new stars. It sounds simple, but sometimes the way you go about it can be a fledgling process. But WWE seems to be having success with Kofi Kingston, because he stands alone as a unique new talent, and they seem to be going about it the right way with Bam by pairing him with Chavo, a top ECW talent. The match itself was good, seeing Chavo and Bam working together as a cohesive team, and really getting some nice offense in on Punk. The finish saw Kane set Chavo up for the GTS by CM Punk. Out of a possible 9 stars, I give this match 7 stars.
Overall this was a mediocre edition of ECW, especially considering this was their 100th episode. Great start and a great finish, with little excitement in between. I give tonight’s episode 4.5 out of 9 stars.
With Mike Adamle becoming the new “voice” of ECW, it seems to me like any given ECW broadcast is broken into two separate entities. You have the show itself, and then whatever Tazz and Mike are doing. Tonight was very confusing in terms of where WWE is going with Adamle. His opening promo in the ring seemed anything but heel-like. It seemed as if he was recognizing that he was bad, apologizing, and promising to try harder. At the same time, however, there were two major problems at work here. One, the promo came across as completely insincere, as although Adamle was promising to do a better job, he was making the same mistakes WITHIN the promo. His heart wasn’t there, and his syntax was sloppy. Secondly, it’s a little distressing to me that WWE clearly understands Adamle is not living up to anyone’s expectations, and yet are allowing him to waste TV time by standing in the ring as opposed to taking time away from the booth to improve. I thought what they had going on Raw was interesting, it really seemed as if they were trying to create a heel commentator in Adamle, and they reinforced that by having him speak on WWE.com, making claims that he is as good or better than Jim Ross. This was good stuff. It was the start of something. But tonight, it seemed to detour, and almost looked like WWE was backtracking. All in all, this was, in my opinion, Mike Adamle’s worst performance to date. Here is a concise list of the idiocy that was Mike Adamle tonight:
-He called a table a picnic table. Do you honestly think it sounds “extreme” to relate a foreign object to something little red riding hood eats lunch off of? I love how Stevie Richards had to correct him.
-He claimed this was Mike Knox’s first Extreme Rules match. Was tonight Adamle’s first visit to Earth?
-It was fantastic when Morrison asked Adamle “what move is that?” referring to a European uppercut, and Adamle was silent. Hilarious.
-It took a different wrestler joining Tazz and Mike in the booth for every segment in order to keep the commentary moving and prevent Tazz from hanging himself.
Cringe-Worthy Quotes:
“He’s trying to send Dreamer to the penalty box!”
“He broke that paddle in half!” (It didn’t break at all)
“It’s off the charts my friend!”
In response to “Why don’t you go jamaic-yourself crazy Mike,” he proudly states, “I will later.”
And finally, I guess when there’s nothing else to say, just exclaim “Have Mercy!” And for good measure, repeat it about 10 times.
Lastly, I want to point out that the joke may very well be on all of us. This may be exactly what WWE wants from Adamle, as it is getting people talking. Hell I’ve devoted an entire section to it. But honestly, wouldn’t you rather people be talking positively about your product? As always I appreciate all of your feedback. Please feel free to email me anytime at [email protected].
