Reading Between The Ropes: What The F*ck?

Trevor Lane


***Disclaimer: My PC crashed shortly after writing this column, and I didn’t get it fixed until a few days ago. Consequently, this column is a bit dated, but I didn’t want it to go to waste, so here it is***

Welcome back to another edition of Reading Between The Ropes. My stress level is at an all time high as I am currently in the middle of my last week of school before finals. After finals I will officially have a bachelor’s degree in history. Woo hoo! Then I get a few weeks off for Christmas, then start back up in January to get teaching credentials. After a year of credentialing though, then I can finally start teaching. Still, graduating from college is a big milestone for me. It’s one of those things that make you feel like you can accomplish anything. “You will succeed in your goals if you advance with confidence”. I can’t remember who said it, but it’s true.

Ok, a lot of you are probably thinking, ” What the hell do I care if this schmuck is graduating from college? I want to read about wrestling!” I hear you, don’t worry. Sometimes I throw in some stuff that’s happening in my life because…well, because it’s my column and I can!

Ok ok, I will get to the wrestling stuff! You don’t have to click the little red x in the upper right corner. Here you go…

Monday Night Blah

This week’s Raw gets a big WTF from me. For those of you who don’t know what WTF means, it stands for What The…you get it now.

Raw had the opportunity to really come out and put on a great show following up the controversial finish to last week’s World Title match. Instead, they decided to postpone the solution of the problem by a week (if not longer) and basically waste a show by having a series of non-sensical matches and segments.

Let’s count how many times Raw made me think “WTF?”

Raw opens by quickly letting everyone know that the reason why they were tuning in, the World Title situation would not be addressed tonight. They then spent the next 10 minutes talking about Triple H’s book and role in Blade Trinity….WTF?

If that wasn’t enough to make you change the channel, we also were treated to several performances by Fozzy along with a bunch of scenes of Chris Jericho partying. Jericho has one night to be the GM and he doesn’t even put himself in contention for any title? All he wants to do is party and sing with his “band”….WTF?

Jericho suddenly decides to single out Christian again after their feud was done months ago and makes him wear a costume out to the ring, which was apparently supposed to be funny…WTF?

Speaking of funny, Simon Dean, the fitness guru has his first real match and the most memorable thing about it was the fact that Simon is a bit pudgy in the mid section. Once again, the fitness freak is pudgy….WTF?

Apparently most of the fans forgot that Trish and Lita were feuding because about a half an hour was spent on segment regurgitating their feud to us….WTF?

Jericho and Benoit, as face characters, attacked Ric Flair while he was at ringside. Of course, Raw hailed from deep within Flair country, which means that the faces got booed like crazy. That was a real smart decision….WTF?

Lita, who has just recovered from a broken neck, tries an appropriately names suicide dive to the outside and face plants into the ground. It was hilarious and scary all at the same time, but mostly it just made me think….WTF?

And finally, a women’s title match as the main event? Yes, the same women’s title that is used mainly to take up time while the audience goes on a bathroom break. People were expecting some sort of huge match to determine who the world champ is, and instead there is a women’s title match? That, my friends, is a HUGE….WTF?

Eight! That’s eight WTF? moments on Raw last night. It’s only a two-hour show people! Eight WTF? moments? WTF?

OK, So It Wasn’t All Bad…

Well, since this is the season of giving and all, I have two things that I will say that the WWE did well with last night.

First off, the Maven heel turn is a great idea. Having him take out Eugene is great, because it’s just evil on so many levels. Not only is Eugene a fan favorite, but the fact that he has a mental handicap just pushes Maven into the next level of evil, mostly known as “Joan Rivers evil”, since it involves the type of acts that make you a little uneasy and sick feeling watching it, much like Joan Rivers does.

Secondly, the continued face turn of Batista is nice to see. In the past, the WWE would have dropped this angle by now and acted like it never happened, but instead this one is building quite nicely.

Rigged Enough?

I gotta comment on this a bit. So last week’s Tough Enough segment brought us the notion that all of the other contestants for some reason don’t like Daniel Puder. They all cut video promos explaining why they don’t like the UFC fighter turned wannabe wrestler. The funny thing is that the situation seems a little familiar…hmmm…kinda like the anti-Carmella promos during the diva search contest?

So just on a hunch I went to the WWE website and read the Tough Enough rules, and just as I suspected the WWE has the right to pick whoever they want to win, regardless of fan voting.

My guess would be that the WWE was surprised to see Daniel Rodimer get eliminated so early (as was I), and figured that they would run the show from here on out. Bastards.

The irony of it all is that they have taken what is essentially a reality TV series and given it a script to follow. Yeah, Vince, by adding storylines to what is supposed to be a real contest for kids fighting for their dreams, you pretty much kill the whole reason for a show. I would rather see the old style Tough Enough; where we got to see the students bust their asses every week trying to achieve their goal than these guys try to poorly act out a storyline.

Scripted reality TV. Once again, I gotta say…WTF?

See Ya

All right guys, that’s about it. I have a 15 page paper to write in the next four days about the educational theories of Plato, Rousseau, and Dewey, so I am going to go to the store, buy a bunch of caffeine-filled products, and chain myself to my desk for a while. If you feel like sending me feedback, email me at Trevor@wrestlepower.com, and I may email you back during my single meal break for the day. Oh, and check out my site, WrestlePower!

. See ya!

Trevor Lane

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