“Lies (And The Lying Liars Who Tell Them)”

Nick Paglino

Hulk HoganHulk Hogan's recent claim that he only played his creative control card once was an even bigger lie than saying he was once asked to play bass for Metallica. (I like the Metallica lie, though. Imagine Hogan onstage with Metallica. ABSURD.)

Hogan played the creative control card CONSTANTLY during his WCW tenure. I vividly remember re-scripted booking formats being delivered to the announcers during Nitro commercial breaks because Hogan would get to the show late, then demand rewrites on the fly. Hogan had creative control over THE WHOLE SHOW, not just his own character. Advance planning was minimal; WCW flew in the whole roster every Monday, and dozens of wrestlers went unused. Tens of thousands were unnecessarily spent on transportation each week.

The worst example of Hogan’s abuse of power was Halloween Havoc ’94. Hogan defended the WCW title against Flair at the preceding Clash of the Champions. The Clash's logical finish: Hogan gets screwed out of the belt by Flair, chases title to Havoc, puts up career to get a title shot in a steel cage.

But Hogan just wasn’t feeling it, brother, saying the fans didn’t want to see him drop the title. So Hogan lost by countout at the Clash due to interference by a masked man. That set up the long-awaited Ed Leslie heel turn, even though it was Arn Anderson under the mask at the Clash.

So, at Havoc:

*Flair put up his career, which is a babyface move.

*Hogan put up his career, which was illogical. Hogan was defending the championship. He brought the belt to the table.

Hogan won. Flair’s retirement lasted a few months. His comeback lasted two decades.

Hogan never did right by anybody but himself. His selfishness was absolute and perpetual. Still is. He only turned heel to join the nWo because he saw it was best for him. Scott Hall and Kevin Nash had already engaged the marks as cool heels, and Hogan wanted to ride that wave.

It also allowed Hogan to assume control of WCW’s top program, which is why the program fizzled much sooner than it should have. Instead of giving WCW its heat back, Hogan split the nWo in two. Anything to avoid doing jobs.

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

The Miz is under heavy fire for not catching R-Truth when Truth flew out of the ring at Raw, and should be. All you have is each other. It’s the ultimate trust. You can’t violate it.

But to blame The Miz for Survivor Series’ substandard buyrate is a crock. Too convenient. WWE has a substandard product that tells substandard stories featuring way too many substandard performers. If you want to cast blame, look no further than the executive offices.

BUT…SHE IS ASSTASTIC

If you want a microcosm of how small-time Impact Wrestling really is, Brooke Adams was on Twitter bitching about being out-politicked in the voting for Hooters Dream Girl 2012. Can you imagine a WWE Diva doing that? Competing for Hooters Dream Girl, let alone grouse about losing?

WWE’s Divas pose for Playboy. Impact’s KnockOuts are Hooters Dream Girl quarterfinalists. BTW, does anybody REALLY BELIEVE Adams schleps wings at Hooters?

Then again, Adams does have the best ass IN THE WORLD. That earns some leeway.

Mark Madden hosts a radio show 3-6 p.m. weekdays on WXDX-FM,Pittsburgh, PA (105.9). Check out his web page at WXDX.com. Contact Mark by emailing wzmarkmadden@hotmail.com. FOLLOW MARK ON TWITTER: @MARKMADDENX.

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