One Logical Choice

Justin LaBar

WWE Hell in a CellWWE has only one logical choice for Punk-Ryback at Hell in a Cell. If Ryback wins clean, his buzz continues. If anything else happens, Ryback’s buzz is dead. If Ryback loses, he’s no longer undefeated (duh). If anything contrived happens, or somebody runs in, that’s fake wrestling. Ryback is just another fake wrestler.

Sources say WWE creative wants to come up with a way to have their cake and eat it, too. Let me save them the trouble: CAN’T DO IT. WWE should have thought of that before matching Punk and Ryback. It’s too early to do it. Ryback should have beaten the whole mid-card first.

That’s what Ryback does: HE WINS. To go beyond that, his character needs to be developed. That hasn’t yet happened.

The IWC pitches screw-job finishes. They want a Lesnar run-in. Here’s an idea: Have Punk beat Ryback with a taser. That angle worked out great the first time. What do you do after a Lesnar run-in? Go to Ryback-Lesnar? Who wins that? Ryback? If that was your plan, do Ryback-Lesnar first. Avoid the carny crap.

Screw-jobs + run-ins = carny crap. FAKE WRESTLING. Ryback, like Goldberg, is above fake wrestling. For now.

Is it a disaster if Ryback beats Punk? Punk is a STAR. Punk has STAYING POWER. Go the distance with Ryback. Beat Punk. Give him the title. Keep on winning. What’s the downside with that?

Oh, wait: Dwayne wouldn’t like it. I need Punk to cut this promo.

Soon, Dwayne will jet in from Hollywood to grace WWE with his presence for a few dates. He wants to beat Punk for the title, then have a rematch with Cena at WrestleMania. The movie star has spoken. So it has been said, so it must come to pass. Consider that, then consider WWE’s philosophy of having big stars trade wins until everyone’s even-steven. Ryback can’t beat Punk.

That’s the problem with a character based on winning. He has to win. Nobody in WWE really wins, not even the champ. Punk is a Ric Flair-style champ, the kind that never wins but stays over based on charisma and character. That’s a compliment.

When you trade wins by way of placating egos, you eliminate creative tension. Especially that pesky “creative” part.

I like all the ex-WWE creative guys saying, “Punk can win. That won’t hurt Ryback.” Talk about earning your “ex-.” Chris Jericho says to go all the way with Ryback; that Punk has reached his ceiling. I’m not sure that’s true, but I see where he’s coming from. One can’t climb without someone else slipping. That’s Wrestling 101. The key is to manage the slippage. Punk’s quality allows that.

I’m going to watch Hell in a Cell, and I’ll know one thing going in: WWE IS GOING TO MANGLE THIS BADLY. I have never been more certain of anything in my life.

But at least Raw launched another “general manager” storyline. Excuse me, “managing supervisor” storyline. Gee, that subtle difference makes it seem SO FRESH. LAZY, LAZIER, LAZIEST.

Seems like A.J. was banging one of the boys. Art imitating life. Was it John Cena? Wait…he’s not married. A.J. isn’t married. SO WHERE’S THE SCANDAL? Consenting adults, y’all. But you can’t do an adultery storyline in the middle of a Senate campaign.

Maybe there's a sex tape. BUBBA THE LOVE STOOGE COMES THROUGH AGAIN!

Mark Madden hosts a radio show 3-6 p.m. weekdays on WXDX-FM, Pittsburgh, PA(105.9) . Check out his web page at WXDX.com. Contact Mark by emailing wzmarkmadden@hotmail. com . FOLLOW MARK ON TWITTER: @MarkMaddenX

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