Eddie Kingston sure knows how to tell a story.
Kingston was the latest guest on AEW’s Close Up w/ Renee Paquette. During the conversation, Paquette asked Kingston a rather simple question: Who would you invite to a dinner party, dead or alive? Kingston said Terry Funk, Kenta Kobashi, Toshiaki Kawada, Larry Sweeney (Alex Whybrow) and Tracy Smothers would get invites, noting how much he missed the latter two.
Paquette followed up and asked what he’d serve at the party, and Kingston said he’d have a pool filled with Cold Stone ice cream, Five Guys burgers and steak for the men. Kingston then hilariously described all of the mix-ins he’d put in the ice cream before sharing why he has to order Cold Stone over the phone instead of doing it in person.
“Because of the embarrassment in front of people— I have this visual of a little kid, like 7 or 8, going, ‘Oh, look at this fat fuck…’ So, that’s my biggest fear,” Kingston told Paquette, who couldn’t control her laughter.
The AEW star said he’s thankful for Uber Eats and DoorDash because he knows his orders can be “off the rails,” but no one judges at home, except for his girlfriend. He then joked that there’s no point in buying a pint of ice cream if you aren’t going to eat the whole thing in one sitting.
“You give me this little thing [makes the measurement of a small cup in his hand], you’re cockteasing me, you’re not letting me do my thing,” he said, before delivering a humorous exchange about the experience of adolescence in the cable TV era.
Kingston’s affinity for Cold Stone turns into him recalling some memorable film scenes
“It’s like Salma Hayek in Desperado, man. God damn. Do you understand [that movie came out] in 1995, right? I still think about her in that scene. And I love my girl, I’d marry her, I love her. I love her. But there’s days where I get like a little [thought] bubble [and think about] Salma Hayek in Desperado and in uhh… Oh! [From Dusk Til Dawn], with the f*ckin’ foot gimmick because the guy has a fetish. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what’s his name? Quentin Tarantino has a foot fetish, God bless him! You ever see Kill Bill? It’s like eight shots of feet. Hey bro, I’m not yucking your muck, I get it, as long as it’s consensual, we’re good to go.
Kingston then recalled the first time he ever saw bare breasts on television, and hilariously explained why it was so awkward for him.
“But yeah, Salma Hayek. I thought about her earlier today when we went to the dispensary. For some reason, it just clicked in my head. She randomly pops in my head. Oh, and also—the first time I ever saw [makes a ‘breast’ motion with his hands] on TV. Apollonia from Purple Rain, when she went into Lake [Minnetonka].
“I’ll never forget that moment, especially when you have Titis, Puerto Rican aunts. They see, they go, ‘Oh look, what’s that? Oh look, he likes girls!’ Yeah, that wasn’t f*cking traumatizing,” Kingston sarcastically said before impersonating his aunts again. “That was a lot of fun. ‘Ayy, look! Look! Look at him, little… Oh my God!’ And this is me: ‘What’s on that woman’s chest? I like it.’”
“Welcome to 1985,” Kingston quipped.
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